Sheepishly, she turns her phone screen toward me as though I can see it from where I stand across my open-concept kitchen. “Decker’s back on social media.”
My heart leaps into my throat. “And?”
“And people are flooding his most recent post with comments.”
“So?” I open the fridge, ducking my head inside and sucking in the cold air. It does nothing to force my heart back into its rightful place between my ribs.
“So everyone is going nuts. They’re saying he’s being cryptic.”
I slam the fridge shut, wanting to tell her to shut it too, but I can’t. I need to know more. “Cryptic about what?”
“You.”
That’s when my heart slams into my guts, splattering them everywhere. There’s no way. He never returned my calls. Never texted me. As much as I wanted to hang onto hope that maybe there was still a chance, I was tired of torturing myself. So I let it go. I let him go.
Well, until this moment, I’d thought I let it go.
When I don’t say anything, she clears her throat and continues on, her tone too steady. “He posted your lyrics, Lena.”
It takes a few seconds before I remember to breathe. “It could be a coincidence. It’s not like my stuff is original. Half my words themselves are cryptic.” I try to laugh but she rolls her eyes.
“Stop, Lena. When you’re in love with someone, you don’t let it go that easily. Even if they hurt you. You cling to it no matter how pathetic it is.”
“Thanks.”
She rolls her eyes harder this time. “I’m not talking about you, necessarily. I’m speaking from experience here, okay? And if there’s one thing I know, it’s that there’s no way Decker moved on from you that easily.”
“It’s been months, Joss.”
“So? I just think it’s worth exploring. I think you need to try one more time.”
I pull an already-opened bottle of rosé from the fridge and two coffee mugs from a cabinet and fill them with the cold liquid. “What song is it?”
“Pretty Hard to Find.”
I throw back the mug and almost drain it.
She clears her throat, answering the unspoken question poised between us. “More specifically:Through the dark nights, I still search for the sun. In my deepest dreams, I still hope you’re the one.”
Suddenly, I feel hot and cold and like I may combust all at once.
“Dang, Decker! Lay it all out there, why don’t you?” Joss huffs out a giggle. “If that doesn’t convince you, I don’t know what will.”
Steadying my voice, I challenge her. “If he’s back on social media, why didn’t he reach out? Why didn’t he tag me?”
“Tag you? You already embarrassed him once, Lena. Do you honestly think he’d let you do that again? On the internet of all places? I know you think your half-baked halftime stunt was gonna grab his attention, but be real.”
“Rude.”
“I’m just saying. I’m with the Lena Lovers on this one. You two were something special. Anyone could see it.”
“You and the Lovers are just obsessed with romanticizing things that aren’t actually there.”
Her lips press into a tight line. “Fine. You can let him go—if that’s what you want. Do it. Drop him, and I’ll never bring him up again. But if you think for one second you might regret it. This is your chance. Find him. Go to him. Lay your heart out on the line and see what happens.”
“That sounds…”
“Scary?”
