“Everybody shut up. One last time from the top, then we can all go our separate ways. Indiri, please.” Jade held her arm out for me.
This shit was comical. This big, blended family worked through a big ass wedding and, of course Jade was in charge. Just like she was also in charge of the trip that would follow. Karim and Reminisce opted out of a honeymoon but allowed Jade to talk them into a big ass family vacation.
We practiced for this big, extravagant ass wedding three more times even though she said one more, then went our separate ways. Well… not fully. My brothers and I all went out for drinks while the ladies went home. It figured, seeing as how Karim and Beyah were pregnant. These niggas just didn’t learn. The more babies they had, the more babysitters they needed. Couldn’t be me though, not at all. I was avoiding a kid like the plague. I was in my prime and not even considering settling down. What did I need a kid for? I didn’t. It was funny because first I was cousin Indiri, but now, in light of a lot, I was Unc. That didn’t even sit well with me. I shook my head, thinking about when we finally sat down as a family and discussed the elephantthat had plagued us all. It didn’t really mess with me, because I’d had time to process it while mourning my pops. In a way, timing was everything. After I lost him, I gained them in a way I wasn’t used to, especially Reminisce. He took his older brother role seriously, sure to call and check in regardless of time. That was something I had come to expect.
Unlike my brothers, I opted out of the drinks and ordered wings with several refills of water. At least I knew the hot wings were actually wings and not some genetically modified shit shaped and textured like chicken.
“So how long are you this way?” Reminisce asked. He was seated across from me sipping from the beer in his hand. G had gone to grab napkins and Rennix was in the washroom.
“Three days. Then I gotta get back. Photoshoots and shit.” I drank from the glass of water in front of me.
He nodded. “Are you preparing for another fight?”
I shook my head. “I stay prepared, but nah. Nobody has challenged my title. The last motherfucker coming for me dropped dirty.”
“That Mason dude, right? He was doing a bunch of talking in the media.” He laughed just as our siblings returned to the table.
The thought of yet another mouthy fool speaking on me in the media earned a laugh. “Yeah, he did all that and still couldn’t legally challenge me.”
Rem shook his head. “What about ol’ boy with the corny ass name? I hear he’s been on social media talking like he can beat you.”
More laughter spilled from my lips. “I’m sure he thinks he can. What nigga names himself Knockout? Especially when out of ten fights he only knocked out two motherfuckers.”
All of my brothers laughed at that statement because it was weird.
All of my brothers.The way that immediately flowed through my brain, sitting at a high table with three other niggas who looked similar to me. The strangest thing was going from being an only child to somebody with siblings. I took it so easily because I had never truly been an only. G and Jade had always been like older siblings to me, but now it wasn’t just “like”. They were my siblings and so were Reminisce and Rennix.
“Yeah, I saw that video. Nigga was talking too much.” G’s voice brought me back into the fold.
I knew what video he was talking about. Knockout was doing his usual mouthy thing, talking shit before any challenge had been announced. He’d been eligible to challenge me for the past six months and had yet to do so, but he had time to blab in the media. He was waiting for somebody else to challenge me, but nobody could. It was either he challenged me himself or got forced to. None of it really mattered to me because I wasn’t ducking any smoke. When the time came, I’d be prepared.
“Too much mouth and not enough motion.” Rennix sipped from his beer.
“Since when have you come home with security?” G asked, changing the subject and throwing his head in the direction of Bigs who sat in the corner of the bar ready to split a skull if needed.
“Since that shit at Wildcats.” I shook my head, thinking about the last time I’d gone to a club. A nigga was mad because his woman wanted to be in my space. Wasn’t like I’d invited her. I shrugged.
“Well, then I get it. Niggas tried to jump you in the bathroom like a bunch of bitches.” Rem mugged.
I had definitely broken a few noses and one nigga’s arm that night. When they tried to sue me, Journee handled all of that. But at the end of the day, she said she wasn’t taking any more chances because things could have been worse. I didn’t fight heror Remy on it because I agreed things could have been so much worse.
I spent a while longer with my brothers before they all had to get home to their families and me to my bed. I was lowkey tired as hell and lacking sleep. Being on a plane always took a lot out of me. While most people went to sleep on the plane, I sat up pissed about every bump and turbulence filled moment. I didn’t relax on planes, never could. I was always up thinking about life, wondering how we could be so close to the sky. My thoughts always ran rampant in the sky, which I hated, but I could never do anything about it.
Chapter
Three
Selah
Almost a week later…
For a while it hurts like hell, then with the passing days, it hurts a little less.My grandmother’s words echoed in my head. After I left Indiri’s hotel room a few days ago, I went to my grandmother’s house. My intention was to spend a couple days there and sulk, but Emma Mae wasn’t going for that shit at all. Though I didn’t tell her what was bothering me, she gave a pep talk and told me to get out of her house right after we spent time working on a crunch cake recipe. I always found solace in baking and spending time with my grandmother. It was something about the kitchen and the idea of exploring a new recipe that helped my heart and head.
For the most part, baking with my grandmother helped me not think about Nathanial. But now I was in the bakery alone, preparing for the day, and I couldn’t not think about the mess between Nathanial and me. He had finally agreed to give me the space I so desperately needed, but was that even a good idea? Usually, I lived in the home we shared out in Westvale, but for the last few weeks, even before everything happened, I had been staying in the loft space above my bakery.
When I found out he was out of town a few days ago, I snuck out to the house and grabbed a few things and came right back here. Who was I kidding? I grabbed a lot because honestly I didn’t know where I stood. One minute I was planning to spend the rest of my life with this man and the next I questioned everything. Some days I found myself wondering how many times he had actually lied to me, how many times he’d said he had something to do for work and wasn’t working at all. My mind went to dark places, spaces that had me stalking his socials, looking at his likes and the people he followed. His actions had me acting out of character, obsessing over social media apps I didn’t even frequent. His cheating shattered the future I envisioned for us. That was where I’d messed up, envisioning a future for us. Nathanial was only out for himself and that was nothing new. He used the fact that I chose to live a private meaningful life to do his dirt.
The most fucked up thing was that I still loved him. At least I thought I did. We had history, the type I had no interest in throwing away, and that alone made me weak.
