“Hey, I don’t know what you did with that cinnamon-honeybun cake but it’s standing no chance out there. You put your foot in it, mama.” Lori, one of my employees, walked into the back kitchen with an empty silver pan in her hand.
I laughed. “I’m glad. I’m thinking about making it a regular.”
“Well, that’s a good idea.” She smiled, lingering for a while longer after she set the tray in its designated space.
I was placing my normal sugar cookies on a tray to go out for the evening. Though I closed at six, the kids got out of school around three or four and always came in for them.
I looked up from the cookies, my eyes landing on Lori lingering. “What’s wrong? Is there something you wanna talk about?”
She scratched the side of her head nervously. “Um, nothing. I wanted to check on you. You seem a little sad.”
I laughed. “Lori, I’m good. I promise.” I was lying through my teeth, but the last thing I needed was my employee in my business too. Lori was cool and all, but she was also just my employee. Boundaries were necessary.
She looked at me skeptically for a while then nodded. “You know I’m here if you need to talk, boss lady.”
I nodded. “I know. Thank you for that. Once I finish these cookies, I’m gonna cut out for the evening. Joley will be in by then.”
“Okay cool. Do you want me to take these up there and refill the tray?” She motioned toward the tray of triple fudge brownies.
“Yes, please. Those teenagers come in and only see these sugar cookies. I’m trying my hardest to get them to see something else.”
“I see. Did you really draw full and broken hearts on the brownies?”
I laughed. “I decorated them like I do the cookies.”
She joined in my laughter. “We’ll see then. I’ll let you know when I see you tomorrow.”
We made more small talk before she finally went back to the front and I could breathe. With everything going on in my life, laughing and talking was hard. The entire time it felt like I was holding my breath, like if I breathed too easy it would hurt worse.
I left the bakery about two hours later. It wasn’t until I was sitting in my car that I realized I didn’t have anywhere to go. It wasn’t that I didn’t haveanywhere, but nowhere pressing. Plus, I knew if I went upstairs, I’d be lying in that damn bed crying.
My phone rang, prompting my eyes to land on the center console. Of course it was Nathanial. Who else would it be? Forsome odd reason my mind went back to the beautifully hazy night I’d spent with Indiri. Even though I hadn’t left my number or any way to contact me, for some reason I assumed I’d see him after, or shit, at least he’d call me.Jesus! How?That was how I knew I read too many books. Because the hopeless romantic in me halfway wanted the one-night stand I had to pop up and be unhinged behind me.
Somewhere between daydreaming and overthinking about a man I’d probably never see again, my phone had stopped ringing. It was ringing again now, and once again, Knockout was calling.
Annoyance coursed through me. I thought he knew the meaning of space, but he didn’t. He thought not calling for a day was giving me space. Now I guessed he wanted to talk.Shit, did I want to talk? No, but I had questions that would probably make this even worse.
I pursed my lips, then pressed the green circle on the center console. “When I said I needed space, I didn’t mean just a day, Nathanial.”
He chuckled. “You damn sure ain’t fucking with me. Talking to me in the same tone my mama does.”
I didn’t laugh, but instead remained silent, waiting for him to get on with the reason for his call.
“I miss you so fucking much. Like I know I fucked up but damn. I feel our separation in my bones.”
I still didn’t respond.
“You hear me, Selah?”
“Yes, but what do you expect me to say? You did this to us. You broke us.”
“I know and that shit bothers me more than you’ll ever know. Can you come home? So, we can talk.”
“About what, Nathanial. There is nothing to tal?—”
“I fucked up. I own that, but you’re not giving me the chance to even try to fix us.”
I laughed dryly. “Fix us like what, Nathanial? Had your girl not messaged me, nothing would be broken, right? You’d still be doing what you were doing and like a fool I’d still be in la la land in this relationship.”
