She nodded. “I do.”
“So she can speak,” I teased, trying to break the tension a bit. “For a second, I thought you defaulted.”
Finally, she expressed, “I was left in a dumpster when I was a baby, Julius.”
My mouth parted, my chest caving in. Hearing her say that was salt to the wound.
“I’d like to think I was kidnapped, and my parents wouldn’t do that to me. I mean, what kind of people throw away their own kid?” Fresh tears brimmed her gaze as her bottom lip trembled. “My parents aren’t monsters, right? Only pure evil could do something like that.” She swallowed hard, and a lump formed in my throat.
“Or maybe, they got high and forgot where they left me…”
“Isla—”
“I go over and over it in my head sometimes. It’s why your music means so much to me. It’s able to quiet all that noise. You have the power to calm me. You both do…”
“What am I supposed to say to that?”
“You wanted honesty, right? I’m just trying to give it to you.”
“Isla—”
“There are so many scenarios I’ve made up throughout the years. Maybe they were secret spies and had to leave me behind… Maybe she was just a kid herself. Maybe he was too… Maybe they told her I was sick, and she thought she was doing what was best… maybe… maybe… maybe...” She peered deep into my eyes. “Do you want to live the rest of your life with maybes, Julius? Don’t you pray for closure? Not when you lay your head down at night, when you have nothing but your thoughts creeping in…” With confidence, she declared, “I know you do because we’re the same, just different font.”
“Isla—”
“I only found out a few years ago. I went snooping in my files, and you know, curiosity killed the cat.” She scoffed out a chuckle. “On the scale of cruelty, I’d say your mother tried until she couldn’t anymore, and maybe that’s why I ended up in a dumpster as well.”
I could see it in her eyes.
The doubt.
The insecurity.
The resentment.
It was there, staring right at me.
I paid extra attention to the way she looked at me. Isla had always been my biggest weakness, and at the same time, she was my greatest strength.
So many what-ifs raced through my mind.
So many consequences and situations that could still happen.
So many choices that could be right or wrong.
Unable to help myself, I reached over and caressed the side of her face with the back of my fingers. She leaned into my embrace like she had been waiting for me to do so since the second I sat down.
Her eyes closed, melting into my touch.
One thing I was sure of in this second was that her guard was slowly coming down again. She was beginning to realize that when I was with her, there was nowhere else I wanted to be.
“Julius…”
My heart sped up, hearing my name roll off her tongue.
The smell and feel of her was all around me, making me burn with desire to claim every last inch of her heart, body, and soul. Iwanted to capture this moment and hold on to it for as long as I could. I wanted to remember her just like this.
For me.
