Merouseized him by the armpit.Priddy had once been strong and lithe,but even back then he couldn’t have made the leap from ground levelonto the back of a circling, skittering horse.Yet last night Merouhad grabbed him and bodily thrown him out of the water, halfway upthe beach to safety...His muscles convulsed.“Shit!Let mego!”
Helanded hard on the poor beast’s rump.The impact—bollock-flat,straddled—knocked the wind from him, and he grabbed on reflex forMerou’s waist.“Attaboy,” Merou said complacently, squeezing hisheels against the mare’s flanks.“All right back there?”
“No.Fucking...ruined myself.Jesus Christ.”
“Oh, the meat and two veg?Family jewels?External John Thomasand Co?Got to watch out for those, haven’t you?Bloody liability,they are.”He leaned forward, drawing Priddy with him.“That’s it,then, old girl—off you go!”
Priddyhung on.The horse took a random leap towards the track—the car,the village, the last place he could remember anything makingsense—then seemed to change her mind.She wheeled through a perfecthalf-circle, tossed her head and set off at a bunch-rumped, joltingcanter for the sea.
Surely he’d slide down her ribcage and hit the turf.Fearjumped to life in him like an ugly old friend.He hadn’t caredlately for the safety of his skin and bones at all.But he couldn’tyellMerou, I want to be offlike a frightened toddler on the teacup ride atthe fair, so he scrabbled for balance and tried to adapt to thethree-time beat slamming at him through the horse’s spine.The feelof it tossed up a memory.He had ridden bareback before, apony-ride with Kit on Newquay beach when they’d been six or sevenyears old.His ma reluctantly parting with the pound coin, andPriddy, entranced by the feel of trotting through the surf,ignoring the pony man’s yells to turn round, setting the fat littlebeast to a gallop instead.The hiding he’d got from his dad whenthey reeled him in, worth every impact of the big hand on hisbackside...
Where had Kit disappeared to that day?Odd thing to worryabout whilst clinging for dear life to a stranger’s waist, butthere it was, and Priddy laid his brow to Merou’s shoulder to giveit thought.Kit had been riding the pony behind.He must havestopped at the turn point like a good boy, and made himself scarcewhen the shit hit the fan.There was no pain in this realisation,just a sense of acceptance.Friendship had limits.Priddy’s lonely,hungry soul blossomed out and expanded in this knowledge: peoplewere limited.It wasn’t justhim.
The seahorse found a new pace.The jolting stopped.Now she was eating upground in long, easy strides, imparting a powerful rock.“Better?”Merou shouted, his voice cracked with laughter, and Priddy noddedspeechlessly against his arm.The sun flared around them as if itwas laughing too, and ahead of them the sea laughed back, openingup to emeralds and blue.
Tooclose.
Way toofucking close.Priddy spared a hand to point.“Merou, thecliff.”
“What about it?”
“She’ll go off the edge.Make her stop.”
“Oh, I can’t do that.We’ll have to jump.”
“What?We can’t...”
Butthere was no more time.And no more limits—Merou had none, anyway,fearlessly swinging one leg over the horse’s mane.Balanced for asecond in unlikely sidesaddle: threw an arm round Priddy’s waistand leapt.
Priddyhit him, not the ground.Landed flat on top, hard enough to shatterribs, but Merou only yelled in delight and rolled, rolled all thedanger and hurt out of their fall, rolled Priddy over in the turfand went under once more himself until all their momentum was gone.“Got you, you see?You’re all right.”
“But the horse...The sea horse...”Priddy broke off, coughing,and heaved up onto his hands and knees.“Christ, she went off thecliff!”
“It’s in the nature of her kind to do so.Come on, have alook.”
Priddydidn’t want to.He couldn’t bear to see a wreck of blood and boneson the serpentine rocks below, a lovely thing destroyed becauseMerou had fancied a joy-ride.“No!Why did you let her dothat?”
“For heaven’s sake, Priddy.Just look.”
So hedid.Down on the sands, great waves were piling in from the west.The wind wasn’t strong enough to build such surf, but neverthelessthere they were, rush after foaming rush of them, necks arching,rainbow manes blinding in the sun.And there, thundering out tomeet them, the horse from the Prés des Chevaux, joy blazing out ofher at every pounding stride.
She was real enough to leave hoofprints.Priddy watched forlong enough to see her hit the waves and burst into foam andrainbows, and then he could no longer patch thought to thought,moment to moment, vision to reality.He swung round to face Merou,falling to his backside on the grass.“What happened?”he askedbrokenly.“What was that?Who the hellareyou?”
“Ah, Priddy.You’re so tired.You worry so much abouteverything all the time, and none of it matters, you know.Notreally.”
“Merou, please.I’m not...I’ve been ill lately, and Isometimes see things that aren’t there.Please don’t fuck with myhead.”
“Come here.”Merou was lying on the turf with his hands tuckedbehind his head, as if the fall had never taken place.As if he’dbeen lounging there for hours, just waiting and hoping that Priddymight happen along.He was right about one thing—Priddywastired, worn to thebone with the effort of everyday life.How did other people do it?Live, breathe, earn their rent, screw around, raise families,achieve things?To Priddy it all seemed as distant and impossibleas deep galactic travel, as stars.“I’m useless,” he rasped.“Idon’t think I’m even really here.”
“Well, I’m fairly certainI’mnot.Come here, my handsome.Join me in sweetnonexistence.”
Priddywondered if that meant they had to follow the sea horse off thecliff.But all Merou did was hold out one arm, and after a momenthe crawled into it.
He laywatching the sky.It was an impossible blue for November, a shadeto make grasshoppers chirr and larks soar out of the heather.Somewhere out there the day was still cold, but down here withMerou, pressed to his side, he was warm as a peach against agreenhouse wall.“I believe I’d like to kiss you,” Merou said,turning to face him.“How would you feel about that?”
Politely, distantly, Priddy considered the question.“Ibelieve I’d like to be kissed.Please don’t expect too much,though.”
“I’ll try to keep an open mind.”
