Standing to my feet, I kissed my mama on the forehead before heading out the back door. I tried to calm myself down, but that shit wasn’t working. Pops had his B.B. King playing, and I already knew that was the music he played when he was in his feelings, but I was in mine too, so I wasn’t trying to hear that ‘go back in the house’ shit.
Swinging the door open, I walked up to his stereo system, and powered that shit off. It was up so loud that he didn’t hear me coming in until the sounds of “The Thrill is Gone” were silenced. His eyes popped open then he looked at me like I had lost mymind. Before he could speak, I spoke up. I didn’t want to hear no more lies.
“Why the fuck you ain’t tell me Mama was sick?”
“Now you hold up a minute. I know you are upset but I am still your father, and you will respect me.” Getting out of his seat, he stalked over to me and grilled me just as hard as I grilled him. “If you want to talk, then come in my shit and sit the fuck down so we can have a conversation like grown men, but if you want to act like little boy, Brooklyn, then take yo’ ass back inside to see about your moms because I’m tired.”
“Why you ain’t tell me she was sick? I asked you several times, is everything good because I felt that shit and you still lied to me.”
“Brooklyn, I’m only going to say this shit one more time. Calm down! You think my first thoughts were to make sure you knew what was going on? I was more concerned about losing my fucking wife!” my pops roared.
“She’s my mama.” The little boy that still lived in my surfaced as I had flashbacks of running to her and she’d cover my face with kisses. Every kiss she left behind would forever be embedded in my heart.
“And I get that, Son, but she’s my wife. She’s all I’ve known and have had next to me for the past thirty years. I’ve been trying my best to wrap my head around this since we found out that she has cancer. You’ve been so wrapped up in your work that you didn’t make time for either of us but want to come over here and yell at me like I’m a fucking child. Asking why I didn't tell you. Why didn’t you come by here? It’s always work, work, work, and for me, it’s my wife, my wife, my wife. This shit is killing me, Son.”
“The first thing you should have done when you saw she was sick, was bring yo’ ass in here and ask me how the fuck am I doing? Ask me how I plan on living if the Lord decides to takeher away from me. That’s my fucking soul, Brooklyn, and if He takes her, He may as well take me too because I swear I ain’t shit without her but I’m everything with her.” When he broke down, I hugged him tight, and we both stood there letting our souls cry.
“I’m sorry.” Crying into his chest, he then hugged me tighter. I ain’t never shed a tear before but this shit right here, broke me down.
Pulling back from me, he wiped his eyes with his shirt then looked at me. “I’m sorry, too, Son but you have to understand that my main concern was getting my wife better. She wanted me to talk to you then the girls but that would have me admitting to myself that this shit could go two ways, and one, I’m not ready to face.”
“You know how your mom is. She wants to be in control of everything. Even now, every day, she’s saying, ‘Julius we have to get prepared. I need to get my affairs in order.’ Do you know how hard that shit is to hear? She’s so at peace with whatever happens, meanwhile I’m over here asking God why? While she’s over there saying, ‘God makes no mistakes.’ Why my wife? Out of all the wives in the world, my wife had to be the one that gets this shit.”
“She’s gone be good,” I tried to assure him, and myself too.
“I sholl hope so.”
I reached out and hugged him again but this time, I held on a little longer. The door to his mancave came flying open, making both of us release each other and pull our guns out.
“This is the thanks I get for coming over here to save your life, Unc?”
“Save my life from who?” Pops asked with wide eyes.
“Auntie called me saying get ova’ here fast because Brooklyn ‘bout to shave Mista,” or whatever they said onThe Color Purple. Either way, she thought it was about to be some Cain and Abel type of shit going on.”
“Cain and Abel were brothers, nephew.”
“Ok, well, Adam and Abel then.”
“I swear, I think Justin smoked big rocks before you were conceived.”
Zoo started laughing until he realized what Pops said, “Aye man, what you tryna’ say?”
“I ain’t tryna’ say shit, I said it. Now both of y’all get out my shit. I have to go see about my woman.”
“I saw her, and now I have a question for you. Why you ain’t feeding my auntie? Got her in there looking like the kids on them Feed the Children commercials.” The fact that he was really upset and thought she was being starved was the crazy part.
“Zeus, don’t make me hurt you. She’s sick and if I could give her my weight and yours too, I would.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. She didn’t say all of that over the phone. Is she gon’ be straight, though?” Zoo quizzed, this time genuinely concerned.
“Let’s hope so,” my pops told him before placing his arms around both of our shoulders as we walked back towards the house.
“It’s good to see that she has three fools for sure that’s gon’ go hard for her ‘til the end.”
“Ain’t no end, Pops.”
“Right, Unc, don’t even talk like that.”
