When he remembered her naked body, lust and shame twined to make him doubly miserable. He could always blame Aunt Meggie for Rebel’s attitude. She was a fierce woman, so it made sense that her daughter followed in her footsteps.
But Rebel was fucking brutal. She had the mouth of a whore, the body of a goddess, hair like silk, and a birthdate that made her illegal and him a fucking creep.
He didn’t want to want her and should’ve been so fucking relieved that she hated him. That wasn’t the case. He missed her. She was kind and caring to those she liked. He was about to lose his fucking mind because she definitely didn’t include him in that number and would give anything to go back in time and undo his fuckery.
She hadn’t deserved his cruelty. Kaia had. He’d been the motherfucker who kissed her. Besides, he should’ve known better than to fuck with Rebel. She made a formidable foe. It was her survival instinct after years of being targeted by the Terrible Triplets.
It was also becauseshewas her father’s daughter.
Diesel scrubbed a hand over his face, sick inside, despondent.
The memory of the derision in her voice devastated him, taking away every bit of fucks about himself that he had to give. Granted, it wasn’t many, but he had started to feel something, reignited after he discovered his mother hadn’t abandoned him by choice and after Uncle Christopher said he’d consider Diesel for Rebel if he proved himself worthy of her.
He heaved in a breath, so unhappy he wanted to crawl into a hole, never to be seen again.
What if Rebel was eighteen? And what if Uncle Christopher gave his blessing? Where would that leave Jana? She was already caught up in his Tabitha drama.Hewas already risking the peace agreement between the Dwellers and the Scorpions to have Jana at his side.
He fucking despised Tabitha. Jana or no Jana, he couldn’t see himself moving back to the condo and trying to make his marriage work. He couldn’t fathom fathering a child with Tabitha.
But Bash wanted to please Celia, and Celia wanted Tabitha happy for whatever reason. They expected Diesel to waste six fucking months of his life dealing with that bitch. Fucking her. Giving her an actual chance.
The brief moment of regret he’d had toward her evaporated under her schemes and demands.
What would happen when the formal agreements were signed? Would Uncle Christopher demand Diesel go to Tabitha?
Again, what would become of Jana? Days ago, he realized he’d made a mistake by asking her to marry him. Yet he cared about her, even if he didn’t show it. He especially felt obligated to her.
She wouldn’t put up an argument if he had to move back to the condo. But, fuck, Rebel was right. Jana’s docility drove him fucking insane. He wasn’t used to a woman like her.
Despite how much he wanted to help her and protect her, she made everything so fucking easy for him. She actually bored him. He was sick of hearing how much she loved him and how grateful she was, when he’d been such a motherfucker to her.
He had to talk to her and tell her that it was okay to speak her mind. The world wouldn’t end if she pissed him off. He wouldn’t care if she staked her claim and told Heidi, Cricket, Fia, and the others to back off. She’d earn more respect that way.
He’d tell her to take a cue from Aunt Meggie. She was a little more ruthless nowadays, but she knew how to get her point across and her demands met. If Jana wasn’t bold and daring, that was fine. There were other ways to defend herself.
She didn’t have to be like…Rebel.
Heartsore, he looked into the black abyss of the forest again. Until Rebel forgave him, he’d have no peace. He wanted to go to the house, wait until she fell asleep, and break into her room to watch her. Marvel at how such outside beauty hid such a spoiled, naïve, tunnel-visioned, conceited little shrew.
Yet he couldn’t. His party was still going on. It didn’t matter that Rebel had ruined it. He had to pretend all was well.
Forcing himself to turn around, he reached the clubhouse several minutes later, surprised to find Axel waiting for him.
“Where were you?” Axel demanded, scowling.
“Rebel wanted to go home. You called me out here to talk to her. I couldn’t let her walk alone through that dark forest.” Although that would’ve been her preference.
Axel’s irritation increased, which annoyed Diesel.
“My men can’t keep fucking with the signals.” Axel pointed to the camera directly above the door. The one Diesel and Rebel had been in full view of. There was one at the edge of the building too, as well as one at the gates. “Dad’s going to notice what we’re doing. It isn’t only one camera neither.”
Diesel lost his steam. “Thanks for looking out for me.”
“Reb’s so sad. I figured you might want to hug her to make her feel better. If Dad saw, he might get mad.”
Rebel didn’t want Diesel hugging her or talking to her. She thought he was worthless. That stole the last of his joy, all his pride at being clean. What did it matter anyway?
Even if she forgave him, he’d fuck up again. It was what he did.
