“But do they have a choice?” she asked. “Are these couples who were already married when chronic illness came into their lives?”
“Some,” he said. “But others were aware before getting involved with each other.”
Amelia thought of Tracy. Her relationship hadn’t survived her diagnosis. “But why do you want this? Why, out of all the women in the world, do you want to be with someone who is dealing with something that will add challenges to a relationship?”
“Because I love you, Amelia,” Ben said, making Amelia’s heart skip a beat. “And I’m no longer the starry-eyed boy I once was. I know now that relationships can have challenges and require hard work. I’m prepared to do that work because you mean the world to me.”
“Ben…” Her heart was hung up on his revelation. It wasn’t the first time he’d told her that, but the last time had been when they were teens. This felt… weightier.
“Give us a chance, Lia,” he said, reaching out to take her hands. “I know some of the challenges you’re facing, and I want to face them with you.”
Amelia shook her head. “I don’t want to saddle you with those challenges.”
“You’re not saddling me with them if I’m choosing to take them on.”
Amelia looked away, emotion clogging her throat.
“This would be my choice, love,” Ben said.
“But maybe you’ll change your mind,” Amelia whispered, bending her head down. “Maybe one day it’ll be too much. And you’ll leave.”
Ben uncrossed his legs and shifted to gently pull her close. “Trust me. Trust that I know what I’m getting into, and that I want you.”
Amelia leaned into his embrace, feeling the strength of his arms around her. “It scares me. To get into a relationship when I feel like it will be so uneven.”
“Uneven?”
“I can’t give the way I might have once,” she said. “Right now, I feel like I’ll always end up taking more from a relationship than I can give to it.”
“I don’t look at it that way.”
Amelia rested her head on his chest, staring out across the water, where moonlight rippled on the gentle waves.
“Give us a chance,” Ben murmured against her hair. “Please.”
She wanted to give in and agree, but she needed to know that he was completely aware of what he was taking on.
Straightening, she looked into his eyes. “Before I can do that, I want you to read the binder. All of it. Then we’ll talk again.”
“Promise?” he asked.
“I promise,” she said.
Leaning forward, he brushed his lips gently against hers. “It won’t make a difference, but I’ll read your binder from cover to cover.”
Amelia tried not to let hope fill her heart completely, but she didn’t work too hard to extinguish the spark of anticipation of what might lie ahead for her and Ben. If she let herself believe him that everything would work out.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Ben settled down on the loveseat with the binder Amelia had given him. He’d felt a twinge of hurt when he realized that she’d received the results on her own and hadn’t told him for a couple of days.
But he’d put that hurt aside, accepting that she didn’t owe him that information.
It was clear though that she’d intended to tell him about the meeting with the doctor since she’d brought the binder with her. So while he would have liked to be with her when she’d received the test results, he was just glad she’d decided to tell him at all.
He knew that, for whatever reason, she was determined to protect everyone from the burden of her health issues, which could have included him.
But it hadn’t, so now he had a bunch of reading to do.
