Before opening the binder, Ben prayed that God would give him wisdom to understand what he was reading and how he could help Amelia as she dealt with the knowledge of her diagnosis and what it meant for her life moving forward.
As he read, Ben kept his phone close at hand so that he could jot down any questions he might have. Thankfully, with his connections in the medical field, he knew people he could ask for clarification as well.
Time slipped by as he read. He didn’t just read the binder, though. There were things he looked up on his laptop, which led him to videos.
All in all, by the time he got to the last page of the binder, he felt well-informed about the diagnosis that Amelia had received.
Well-informed, but also devastated for her. It was definitely a complicated situation, and he better understood her reluctance to get into a relationship.
Still, he was determined to show her that he was there for her for the long haul.
What it meant was that Amelia would be dealing with a chronic condition for the rest of her life. There was no cure that could give her back her old life.
The binder had given him a good idea of what lay ahead for Amelia.
The symptoms could be managed to some degree with medication, lifestyle changes, and careful monitoring, but there would never be a complete cure.
Her pain levels would fluctuate, sometimes predictably with triggers they could identify, but often seemingly at random. Her fatigue would be an ever-present companion, sometimes receding to the background, other times overwhelming her completely.
Ben closed the binder and sat back, rubbing his tired eyes. The clock on the wall showed it was nearly 2 AM. He hadn't realized how long he'd been reading, researching, and taking notes.
Setting the binder on the coffee table, he stood and stretched, his joints popping after hours of sitting in the same position. The information swirled in his mind. Medical terms, treatment options, potential complications, lifestyle adjustments. It was overwhelming, and he wasn't even the one living with the condition.
He walked to the kitchen for a glass of water, his footsteps echoing in the empty house. Annie’s house that had become his in the past day. At least temporarily.
The coolness of the water felt good on his parched throat. Ben leaned against the counter, his mind racing with everything he'd learned.
Amelia's condition wasn't necessarily fatal, but it was life-altering in ways he hadn't fully grasped before. The unpredictability would perhaps be the hardest part—never knowing from one day to the next how she might feel.
His mind kept returning to Amelia's face on the boat. The way she'd looked at him when she'd handed over the binder, a mixture of fear and resignation in her eyes.
He set the glass down with more force than intended, the sound echoing in the quiet kitchen. This wasn't about him or what he was "taking on." This was about Amelia and what she needed.
And what she needed was someone who wouldn't run at the first sign of difficulty. Someone who would stand beside her through the unpredictability of her health.
He wanted to be that someone for her.
Ben wandered back to the living room and sat down heavily on the loveseat.
Even though it was late, he picked up his phone and scrolled through his notes again, organizing his thoughts.
There was so much to consider. The medications she'd need to take consistently, the potential side effects, and the lifestyle adjustments that could help minimize flare-ups.
The binder had outlined the things that could exacerbate her symptoms. Like stress. Or a lack of sleep. How even changes inthe weather could affect her body in ways most people would never realize.
It was as if Amelia's body had become her adversary rather than her ally. For someone who had once been an elite athlete, whose physical capabilities had defined her, that must feel like the cruelest betrayal.
Ben ran his hand through his hair, his heart aching for her. No wonder she'd been so hesitant to let him back into her life. She'd been protecting him, yes, but also protecting herself from potential rejection once he understood the full scope of her situation.
The binder also included information about pregnancy, which had been of interest to him because she’d once talked about having children. It was something they’d discussed back when they’d been starry-eyed teens and assuming they’d get married one day.
The information in the binder indicated that pregnancy was high-risk but not impossible. Though Ben hadn't even thought that far ahead, he had a feeling that Amelia had. If she’d given some thought to how sex might be impacted, she had most likely considered how a pregnancy might be impacted as well.
It would take a conscious effort on the part of each of them to navigate this together.
Amelia would need to be honest about how she was feeling, and he would have to be understanding when plans needed to change at the last minute. They would have to find their own rhythm.
Ben rubbed his eyes again, feeling the weight of fatigue. He hadn't felt this tired in a long time, and it struck him that this was probably just a fraction of what Amelia experienced on a daily basis.
