“Hart thinks Coach's hair is stupid!” Callahan was crying now. “Oh my god!”
“This keeps getting better!” Tate was pounding the bench.
“I didn't mean stupid! I meant—it's nice! It's good hair!” I was floundering now.
Rook was shaking his head, smirking. “You're making it worse, Hart.”
“His hair is fine! Better than fine!” I looked around desperately. “Will you all shut up?”
“Never!” Finn threw another jockstrap. “This is too good!”
Volkov picked one up slowly, deliberately. “For the record, I think Coach has very respectable hair.” Then he threw it anyway.
The assault continued for another minute—jockstraps flying, everyone laughing so hard some guys could barely breathe. When it finally died down, I was sitting in a pile of them, face red from laughing, ribs aching.
“Okay, okay,” Mace wiped his eyes. “In all seriousness though. Coach is at least a seven point five.”
“Thank you!” I said.
“But only because of the shoulders,” he continued. “The personality brings him down to a six.”
“Personality doesn't count in hotness rankings!” Finn argued. “That's a separate category!”
“Who made you the authority on hotness rankings?” Benny asked.
“I'm the guy who won fifty bucks betting on Hart's sex life. I'm clearly an expert on reading people.”
“You got lucky,” Mercer said.
“Skill, not luck.” Finn counted his money again. “Pure skill.”
Rook cleared his throat, fighting a smile. “Are we done ranking Coach's attractiveness now?”
“I'd give him an eight,” Volkov said seriously.
“Eight's generous,” Tate countered.
“He has good bone structure,” Volkov argued. “And the grey is distinguished.”
“The grey makes him look old,” Callahan said.
“You're all wrong.” I grabbed a jockstrap from the pile around me. “He's a nine. Easy.”
Complete silence.
Then Finn lost it. “A nine! He said a nine!”
“Hart's in love!” Tate was wheezing.
“So fucking in love!” Mercer added.
I threw the jockstrap at all of them. “I hate every single one of you.”
“No you don't,” Mace said, grinning. “You love us.”
“Debatable,” I muttered.
Rook was still smirking. “For the record, I agree with Hart. Coach is at least an eight. The arms alone?—”
