“Could have picked literally anyone else!” Tate grabbed one too.
Volkov stood slowly, face completely serious. “This is unacceptable, Hartley.”
Even Rook was getting into it now, standing with his arms crossed. “Very disappointing choice. Expected better from you.”
“You guys are the worst,” I said, laughing now.
“We trusted you!” Benny was trying not to smile. “We thought you had standards!”
“Yeah!” Finn wound up and threw the jockstrap. It hit me square in the chest. “This is for your terrible taste in men!”
“He's not a six!” I grabbed it and threw it back. “He's at least an eight!”
The room erupted.
“He defended it!” Callahan was wheezing with laughter.
“Hart thinks Coach is hot!” Tate threw another jockstrap. “This is amazing!”
Now they were all grabbing them—used, sweaty athletic gear flying through the air. I was dodging and laughing and trying to throw them back.
“This is for the old man!” Mercer lobbed one.
“This is for making poor life choices!” Finn threw two at once.
“This is for eye-fucking him during drills!” Callahan added.
I caught one and fired it at Rook. “You're supposed to be on my side, Cap!”
He threw one back, completely deadpan. “I'm on the side of good taste. Which you clearly don't have.”
“Oh fuck you!” I threw another at him, laughing so hard my ribs hurt.
Sato winced when one hit me directly in the face. “Guys, that's?—”
But then even he was laughing, throwing his own jockstrap into the mix.
“What's wrong with Coach anyway?” I yelled over the chaos. “He's built! He's smart! He's?—”
“A dinosaur!” Finn shouted back.
“He yells at us!” Mercer added.
“His resting face looks like he wants to murder someone!” Tate was bent over laughing.
“That's just his face!” I protested.
“Exactly!” Mace threw another one. “Terrible face! You could do better!”
“I'm not going to do better!”
“Why not?” Benny asked, grinning. “You scared of the dating pool?”
“No! Because I like him!” I grabbed three jockstraps and started throwing them rapid-fire. “I like his stupid face and his stupid hair and his stupid?—”
“Wait, wait,” Finn held up a hand, still laughing. “Did you just call his hair stupid?”
I realized what I'd said. “I meant?—”
