I hesitate, my ears turning red.
‘Never mind,’ Denver signs quickly. ‘I want plausible deniability.’
He’s such an ass sometimes. But I also get it. I would want the same thing. If it weren’t me Dex was dicking down,I’d be running so far away from any knowledge of this incident.
‘There’s more,’ I confess after a moment of tense stillness.
Dever’s brows shoot up. ‘More?’
I feel like shit as I sign, ‘I met his fiancée today. I kept telling myself she deserved to know, but I couldn’t do it. She was nice. I didn’t want to hurt her.’
And in truth, I’m not sure I want to stop seeing Dex, which makes me a complete monster. But how am I supposed to ignore this feeling in my chest that’s telling me Dex is mine?
Denver rolls his lips through his teeth, then waves his hand at me to get my full attention. ‘Does he know you know he’s engaged?’
‘No.’
Denver bites his lip. ‘Tell him. Make him come clean to you.’
The thought of that makes me want to throw up on Denver’s nice, shiny high heels. But I also know he’s right. I can’t just keep this to myself. I can’t pretend like none of this is happening.
Dex has to own what he’s done, but so do I. I could only claim ignorance until I saw them at the restaurant and that ring on Lexi’s finger.
I knew, and I still let him touch me. I knew, and I still let him take my cock into his mouth and suck my brains out. I knew, and I still wanted more.
I have to stop this before it gets entirely out of hand.
‘I will.’
Denver gives me a pointed look.
‘Promise. I will. Trust. I’ll end it.’
He nods. ‘You’re a good person. You deserve to be loved on your own. Not kept secret.’
I wish I could believe him, but it’s almost impossible. Iwasn’t good enough for the only man I ever loved before this, and that was entirely my fault for treating Robbie like he was disposable and allowing him to believe I didn’t want more.
And now, getting over him, I’m falling for the other impossible man in my life. And seeing as he’s also in love with someone else, I’m wondering if maybe this is all some sort of curse.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
DEX
After Rome leavesme cold once again, I let him avoid me. I go back to my normal schedule for the week, and I don’t see even a whisper of him at the gym. Thom’s not acting weird though, which means Rome didn’t tell him what happened, and when I run into Robbie on Saturday for Thom’s abs class, he doesn’t seem different either.
I take that as no one knows. While it doesn’t help me sleep any easier, at the very least, I feel good that it hasn’t spread the way gossip usually does through the Deaf community.
I get a text from Leaf on Saturday, asking me to come by the next morning to help with his garden, which is easy to agree to. I have nothing planned at the gym, and sweating under the sun sounds a hell of a lot better than rotting in my condo, staring at the wall, reliving my every moment with Rome.
The drive out to the farm is a bit more familiar these days. We all pitched in as best we could when Leaf was rebuilding after the FBI tore it to pieces, and now it looks nothing like it used to be.
It’s still weird to know it was basically a graveyard for a bunch of missing people his aunt had murdered, but all of us seem pretty sure that Leaf doesn’t have any of her serial killer DNA in him. Or, if he does, he won’t use it on any of us.
I pull my car up next to Thorne’s and find him and Leaf already outside. Leaf is in his usual crop top and short shorts, garden boots covering his shins, a big straw hat on his head protecting him from the sun.
He was never my type, but something about him is chaotically charming. I can see why Thorne’s so into him.
Thorne, of course, notices me first. He’s trained like that, so even with his hearing loss, he’s aware when the energy around him shifts. He waves me over, and I walk toward him, avoiding random garden tools and half-chewed vegetables, which all seem to be courtesy of Michael.
