It’s risky, but I have to be brave.
Dex should be punished for being a dirty cheater.
But…the thought of him in pain or hurting makes me want to choke on my tongue, so I decide in that moment I’m not going to use his name.
God, I am so fucked.
Denver taps my ankle with the point of his heel. ‘Tell me.’
I take a breath, then sit my glass down because I want both hands for this. ‘I met someone.’
His eyes go wide. ‘Here?’
It takes me a second to understand the context of his question. ‘Yes. Here. No one in France.’ He gives me a look full of pity, which leaves me freshly pissed off, but it passes. ‘I knew him before I left.’
‘Deaf?’ he asks. The look on my face must answer that question because his eyes go wide. ‘Okay. Go on,’ he signs.
My fingers hesitate because how do I say this? How can I say this without giving away details? ‘We hooked up after I got back, and then I found out he’s engaged.’
Denver’s eyes go wider. ‘Wow.’
‘That’s not the worst part,’ I warn.
He leans forward, riveted because of course he is.
‘After I found out, I went to confront him, but we ended up fucking again.’ Fucking doesn’t even seem right. It felt like more than that. It was a soul-crushing, feral orgasm. But I’m not going to sign that in a room full of Deaf drag queens who are extra gossipy.
As predicted, Denver looks mildly disappointed in me, which I absolutely deserve. As much as I want to tell myself that it’s not my business who Dex hooks up with, I’m better than that. I’m worth so much more than being some dude’s side piece.
Even the thought of that makes me feel nauseous.
And then a little horny because the wrongness of it all is…enticing.
Denver takes a long beat before he answers me. ‘Do you want validation, or do you want me to tell you off?’
‘Both. Neither. I don’t know.’
His expression softens. ‘You like him.’
Bowing my head, I take a deep, long, slow breath before looking back up again. ‘I do. I didn’t mean to.’
Denver’s face goes to panic. ‘Oh my god. Is it Robbie?’
Way too close to the mark, but also, thankfully, way off. When I say engaged, his mind doesn’t immediately go to Dex, so thank fuck for that.
And then it hits me. ‘Are Robbie and Thom engaged?’ I take comfort in the fact that it hurts, but not because I want Robbie for myself. Only that I thought he might have told me this himself.
Denver shrugs. ‘Not officially, but they might as well be a married couple.’
That’s fair. They are obnoxiously into each other, even after all this time. For a while, I’d secretly hoped that once Robbie and Thom could communicate properly, Robbie would see the error of his ways of dating a hearing guy.
And yes, I know that makes me the world’s biggest hypocrite.
But it seems like the more they get to know each other, the harder they fall in love, which is good for them. I just wish it were that easy for me.
‘It’s not Robbie,’ I tell him, realizing I hadn’t answered his question. ‘He wouldn’t do that to Thom.’
Denver nods. ‘True-biz. Sorry I asked, but I freaked out. Do I know this person?’
