My heart physically hurts, like a pain twinges in my chest because this man seems to have experienced nothing but heartbreak and I can see it on every inch of his face. His eyes are a little glossy as he tugs his bottom lip between his teeth like he’s contemplating the world.
‘No, it’s okay. It’s going to be a busy day. Take all the time you need. I’m sure someone will be calling you soon.’ He nods and I almost want to reach out and squeeze his hand, reassure him that it’s all going to be fine.
I start my own race prep, and then in a blur the national anthem is finished and the race begins. The first forty-two laps are calm, although in the thirty-ninth lap, Nils overtakes Elijah for the first time ever and sits in P3 behind Johannes. It’s a joy to be able to tell Jo that at least, but I can tell he’s more focused on getting past Harper in front.
‘Focus, Johannes, focus,’ Nathan says from beside me and I wish I could rip his headphones off and toss them onto the track to be annihilated. He must know how much Johannes hates hearing from him when he’s driving. Part of me wishes Johannes would just tell him to fuck off– it’s not like it would be the first time a driver’s told someone in their ear to shut the hell up.
‘I am fucking focusing,’ Johannes grits out, and to prove it he closes the gap to just 0.5 seconds between him and Harper as they take turn ten together, heading straight into a DRS zone.
He’s right up Harper’s ass as they go into turn eleven and then on the last straight of sector two, he zips around him like a fucking ninja and steals the leading spot. I almost want to switch over to Harper’s onboard right now. I bet he’s swearing up an angry storm about his best friend.
‘You’re a P-One, man, P-One. This is exactly what you came to do.’
He whoops into the mic and then settles back into a focused silence, determined to bring this home.
The clean air between Johannes and the rest of the pack is beautiful. The distance he’s put between him and Harper is even more so. He’s cruising. There are still thirteen laps to go, but he has this sewn up. The tenths of a second begin to really rack up as he gets to the end of this lap.
‘Oh, fuck,’ Ian says from beside me and Nathan and me are both looking over his shoulder as we hear the loudest thump not too far from where we’re sitting. On his screen, Nils is in the wall and there’s another car in the side of him.
When I squint closer, I realise that not only is Nils in the wall, but his car’s upside down and he’s not moving. No! Christ. It looks bad on this screen. ‘Who hit him?’ I ask, pushing my mic up, even though I know it’s not on right now so Johannes can’t hear me, but I have to be sure.
The camera angle on my screen shows a Hendersohm car and Ian is quick to confirm. ‘It’s Harper. I don’t think it was either of their faults. There’s something on the track. The next screen over he zooms out and yeah, there’s a fucking wing mirror on the track. How had no one seen that coming off? It’s pure fucking negligence that it wasn’t spotted and cleared up, even if they had to introduce a virtual safety car to do it.
Now there’s two potentially injured drivers in the wall and the race is about to be slowed completely.
There’s already double-waved yellow flags out on the track, and now I have to tell Johannes what’s happened.
‘Hey, Johannes, please make sure your speed is significantly reduced. Don’t even overtake any cars that you might need to lap. Keep it slow for now, man.’ It’s inevitable that this race is now going to need a safety car, and seconds later, race control tells us one is about to be deployed.
‘Tell me what’s going on, Caleb.’ The words come out tense, almost as if he’s saying them through gritted teeth.
‘There’s been a crash. Both cars are in the wall. Safety car incoming, start to slow down, please.’
I’m watching as he grips the wheel, trying his absolute best to stay calm and focused. This is the worst part of this sport, how much risk and danger it can bring. The crash looked ugly, and my eyes keep flicking to Ian’s screen as he waits for the emergency team to get to Nils or for Nils to respond.
The yellow flags are waving around the grid, while the safety car is leaving the pit lane to join the track and keep everyone under control until the situation is cleared.
‘Any more information, man? Who is it?’ Johannes asks as he sits directly behind the safety car, zigzagging to keep some warmth in his tyres while obeying the speed limit.
I think about what to tell him.
‘Nils!’ Ian calls out into his mic next to me. He’s done the gentle thing trying to get Nils to respond, and now he’s desperate. We can see from the technology that Nils’s heart’s beating, but he looks knocked out and he’s still not saying anything. ‘Why is it taking so long to get to him, please?’ Ian asks, and it’s frustrating because he’s in a part of the wall where getting access seems difficult.
It feels like it’s been forever, but it’s only been a minute or two of waiting. ‘Nils!’ he shouts once more and finally I watch Nils stir on the screen.
‘The fuck happened?’ he asks groggily and the whole pit wall breathes out a sigh of relief.
Ian confirms that he’s crashed and to let the emergency-response team help him. When they get to him, they are quick to assess his safety to climb out of the car and even faster to confirm they think he’s concussed.
‘Jo, we’re just waiting on updates that both parties are okay, but the crash was between Harper and Nils. Nils has been on the radio to Ian. He’s all right, but a little bit spacey so they’re thinking a concussion, but we’re still waiting on an update on the radio from Harper.’ I’m beyond aware I’m reeling off his worst-case scenario, but he handles it like the true professional he is. Probably aware that the TV cameras will be on him right now.
‘As soon as you know, please, Caleb,’ he begs, clearly not bothered that the whole world will hear him. This man. He has so much heart that not enough people get to see. How much he truly cares about the people around him.
‘You know I will. Just keep your eyes on the road, keep it slow. They’re definitely going to have to remove both cars from the track, so it’s going to be like this for a few laps. No pit stop for us, but some guys behind you have got one in.’
I couldn’t care less about what other teams are doing, I just need to keep Johannes focused and on track until the end of the race. I’m more than glad that Nils is talking. If he wasn’t I’d be very concerned, it being his favourite pastime. A concussion isn’t ideal, but the med team will take care of him.
I’ve got one of the guys next to me listening to Ash and Harper’s radio stream so that I can update Johannes as soon as I know anything. If I were to look at the crash as an outsider, Harper came off much worse. He clipped the side of Nils’s car as they were spinning out, and it flipped him multiple times until the wall caught him. It wasn’t at incredibly high speed, but it was at a nasty angle that left the car upside down.
