Nothing more uncomfortable than your current boyfriend discussing your secret ex-boyfriend with your ex-friends-with-benefits and his husband.
‘Well…’ Kian looks at his husband like he’s not sure whether to say what he knows or not.
‘What?’ Caleb pushes. It’s not like the whole of Hendersohm aren’t aware at this point that Jackson will be taking over at the end of the season, but it hasn’t been officially announced yet. There’s been a ton of speculation, and no one will be surprised when it does finally get announced.
‘If you were to ask me off the record, I think Jackson will be team principal by the end of the season.’ Kian looks happy about that, smiling wide with pride for his friend. I know Harper said they’d become close over the years, but this is torture.
‘He’s making his old man so proud,’ Harper comments and my fingers grip the edge of the booth tightly. ‘He’s got a permanent supply of whisky in the bottom drawer, just like Anders. Can’t tell you how many times I’ve found him a little drunk in there when he’s been working late after work.’
‘I’ve talked to him about this,’ Kian replies. ‘He can’t keep doing that, but apparently, he’s looking forward to being team principal, he’s perpetually bummed about someone he lost to get there.’
‘Yeah, he keeps saying the same thing to me– but he won’t tell me who this guy is,’ Harper says.
The last thing I need right now is Harper digging any more into that and putting two and two together. To be honest, I’m a little surprised he hasn’t.
‘We just need to keep being there for him, that’s all we can do.’
‘Hey, I’m trying. I put him to bed one night when he was too drunk to stand and I’ve taken him out for dinner in a lot of cities recently. Hang on, talking of that, you never did say where you went when you didn’t show up for dinner with us in Zandvoort…’ Harper’s stare pins me to my seat as he waits an answer.
I’m about to remind him that he promised not to ask any questions, but the cogs are already turning in Caleb’s head as he says, ‘Hang on, didn’t you say that night—’ He turns to look at me and I’m frantically shaking my head.
‘Oh, you bailed on us for your new boyfriend. That’s low man. I told you he wasn’t in a good place,’ Harper quickly buts in.
I’m trapped in the corner of the booth, unable to escape this absolute torture. Caleb is staring at me and he looks confused, but also disappointed and a little angry.
I can’t blame him. I kept my biggest secret from him, and that’s not the basis any relationship should start on. I need to get out of here.
I feel trapped and panicky, like there’s no way out. But then my rational mind kicks in, and I ask Caleb to move so I can get past. I’m up on my feet and heading towards an exit before I can stop myself.
I’m not even sure where I’m going until I’m at the back of the restaurant, pushing the emergency-exit door open, the chill of the late November air biting at my face.
For a couple of seconds, I lean my head against the brick wall, but in reality I want to slam my fists into it.
‘What the fuck, Jo?’ I’m trying to steady my breathing as my best friend steps out into the secluded alley behind the restaurant.
‘This is all so fucked up,’ I mutter, still facing the wall. I can’t look at him right now and it’s not even Harper’s fault. Ijust feel like I’ve been transported back six months, trapped in a big secret as everything falls apart.
‘What’s fucked up? What are you talking about? I know I said I wouldn’t ask any questions, but aren’t we passed that?’
His hand touches my shoulder softly and I turn to my best friend, a single tear slipping down my cheek as he pulls me close, letting me rest my head on his shoulders.
‘I fucking hate him,’ I cry into his shoulder.
‘Who, Jo? Who? Jackson? What did he do?’ He’s trying to be calm for me, but there’s a nervous edge to his tone as he releases me from his grip to get a proper look at me. To try and understand what I’m saying.
He’s right. We’re passed that now.
‘I’m sorry, Harp. I’m sorry. I couldn’t tell you because he’s going to be your new boss.’
‘I don’t understand.’
‘Jackson strung me along for nearly three years and then ended it, just like that! He doesn’t get to be sad about it when it washim. His choice. Ikepttrying, and he just pushed me away every single time for the team.’
‘Ended… what? Jo, you aren’t making any sense.’ Confusion, then realisation is etched on Harper’s face.
I’ve never actually said the words out loud before. It feels like a foreign language at this point.
‘Our relationship. We were together.’
