‘Don’t,’ Ash starts. ‘Harper’s enjoying it all way too much. He keeps pranking me every time the cameras are rolling.’
Now that doesn’t surprise me at all.
One by one, we’re called into the filming room. I am left till last.
When I enter a room with a green screen and I’m asked to sit on a small black stool in front of many cameras, lights and panels, I suddenly feel very nervous, indeed. They tell me not to be– helpful advice, thanks– and I’m asked to introduce myself.
‘I’m Caleb Hughes, race engineer for Johannes Müller, RBF, for the 2027 season.’ I click the action board shut and when they call cut, I’m already laughing at how unreal this feels. ‘Was that okay?’ I ask.
‘Yep, first guy to do it in one take today. We’re happy with that,’ one of the women co-ordinating the shoot says. ‘Ash told us his name was Ash Harper and then laughed for a solid three minutes before we could go again.’
I hope they put together a blooper reel, even if it’s just for social media.
‘We’re going to throw a few questions at you, nothing tough, just the basics about your job. You good to go?’ another of the co-ordinators asks.
I nod, shuffling around on the uncomfortable stool and trying not to let the big light aimed at my face put me off.
‘Tell us about your journey to becoming a race engineer.’
Okay, easy. I launch into a lengthy discussion about my love for the sport– about my brothers only liking football so I was the odd one out. About my degree, my masters, the PhD I’m working on, and my time as an engineer within the broader RBF team– and how I worked my way up. I know it’ll be cut down to be more of a soundbite, but it’s still kinda fun to really lay out how far I’ve come since watching my first race as a kid.
I’m a little breathless and I can feel my cheeks blushing as I finish my spiel. I wish I could control it. I hate how it gives away how nervous I feel.
They ask some more questions about the team, the season, the competition, the car– nothing I can’t handle.
‘Last one, I promise,’ says the interviewer, whose name, I’ve learned, is Cassie. ‘What’s it like working with Johannes?’
That’s the most obvious– but also the most loaded– question they could ask. So many answers filter through my brain. So many that I’m not allowed to say. I want to tell them that he’s the best man I’ve ever met. That he makes the job easy in the best ways, and so fucking hard in the worst ways that I can’t let myself think about. That he cares very deeply for the people he holds closest. That I can tell when he’s being too hard on himself just by the way his eyebrows pull inwards. That he’s a sensational cook. That I dream every night of his mouth on my cock, and it makes me so hard it hurts. That I would do anything– literally anything– to make sure he never again cries like his heart is being torn from his chest.
‘Caleb?’
Shit.
My face floods with heat. I must be beat-red.
Shit, shit, shit.
I haven’t said anything in like a whole minute.
Cassie repeats the question, and I pretend to consider it, as though I simply misheard it the first time.
‘Johannes is one of the most incredible drivers I’ve been lucky enough to witness on track, and working with him is a dream.’
Does that sound like I’m gushing? It definitely sounds like I’m gushing. Shit.
‘He gives great feedback, he’s always willing to listen and he’s not afraid to try new things. We trust each other– the whole team, I mean– so he can take those big risks that see him set records and top the podium. I’ve only been working with him for the last six months, but I hope we have many more years together.’
My throat feels a little raw and I reach for my water bottle to wash down the emotion that seems to have been drawn out of me.
The big light flicks off, which takes some of the heat out of the room, but my face still feels like it’s burning. Did I say too much? Fuck. I’m so in my head that I miss what Cassie says as they start to fold up equipment.
‘Sorry?’ I ask, this time genuinely needing her to repeat herself.
‘I said we’re all good.’
I hop off the hard stool, stifling a groan because one ass cheek has fallen asleep.
‘The team will show you where to go for the next part– the technical panel with the other race engineers,’ Cassie says.
