“My uncle is the King of Sweden, King Alexander. He’s my mom’s older brother. My mother is Princess Margarethe, my father is Prince Evert. He’s what we call a commoner, so not of royal or noble blood, but he became a prince when he married my mom. I have one younger sister, Margaret.”
“And you lived in a palace, I guess?”
At least we were still talking. As long as he asked me questions, I had a chance to explain, to fix this. Right? “I grew up in Solliden Palace on Öland. After graduating from what you would call high school, I did attend Rideau for four years and received my bachelor’s degree in sports coaching with a minor in sports management.”
“But you don’t need a job. Not financially…”
I hesitated. “Yes and no. Technically, I have enough money to live on for a while.” When he quirked an eyebrow, I corrected myself. “For a long time. But people frown upon royal family members who don’t work, especially further down the line of succession, like me. That’s why I chose to get a degree in something I loved.”
His anger seemed to have dissipated, which gave me some cautious hope. “So this job is not some kind of charity?”
I firmly shook my head. “This is a real job that I applied for. That I wanted.” Then I added softly, “That I love.”
“Were youevergoing to tell me?”
This was the question I’d been dreading. “I wanted to. Especially after… after we became close. But the longer I waited, the harder it became. And I was afraid of exactly this. Of losing you.”
“So instead, you guaranteed it by lying.”
I had no defense for that.
Adan finally sat back down, the last bit of anger seeming to drain out of him all at once. He looked exhausted. “I need to think. I need to figure out if I can get past this.”
“Take all the time you need.”
“I’m not running away,” he said firmly. “But I need space to process what the fuck just happened. We’re going back to Buffalo. You’re going to drive. And we’re not going to talk during the drive because I need to think.”
“Okay.”
We packed up in silence, the perfect romantic night in ruins around us.
The drive back was excruciating: three hours of complete silence except for the sound of tires on pavement. I wanted desperately to explain, to apologize again, to beg for forgiveness. But I’d lost the right to ask for anything from him.
When we finally reached Buffalo, when I pulled up in the parking lot near his dorm, he turned to look at me for the first time in hours. “I don’t know if I can forgive this,” he said quietly. “Not because you’re a prince. I honestly don’t give a fuck about that. But because you didn’t trust me. Because you looked at me every day and chose to keep lying.”
“Adan—”
“I’m canceling our private Monday practice. After that, I’ll see. Don’t contact me. I’ll reach out when I’m ready.IfI’m ready.” He opened the door, then paused. “You broke something tonight. I don’t know if it can be fixed.”
Then he was gone, walking into his dorm without looking back. I sat in the parking lot for a long time, staring at the building.
I was so afraid of scandal, so concerned with protecting myself, that I’d hurt the one person who’d seen me for exactly who I was.
Except he hadn’t. Because I’d never given him the chance.
I drove home to my empty apartment, to my IKEA furniture and my careful normalcy, and wondered if I’d lost the only real thing in my entire carefully constructed life.
20
ADAN
I was trying to be quiet, but I only made it three steps into our dorm room before Tank turned on the light, squinting at me.
“Dude, where the fuck were you? What happened?”
Oops, I’d forgotten the fact that I should’ve been back hours ago and had never let him know I wouldn’t be. “It’s a long story.”
I dropped my gear bag by the door and sat heavily on my bed, trying to figure out how to even start this conversation. My mind was still reeling from everything Nils had told me, from the perfect romantic night that had shattered into something I couldn’t begin to process.
