“No, we don’t. You’re a prince who was slumming it for a year, and I’m an idiot who fell for it.”
“That’s not what this was?—”
“Then what was it?” He got in my face again, close enough that I could feel his breath. “Explain to me how this is different from using me.”
“I never used you.”
“No? You wanted to see if someone could care about you without knowing about your title. Congratulations, experiment successful. Hope you got the data you needed.”
The comparison to Alexandra’s betrayal twisted like a knife to my chest. “That’s not fair.”
“Fair?” His voice cracked slightly. “How is any of this fair to me?”
“I’m sorry?—”
“No.” He held up a hand. “I don’t want to hear about your fears or your reasons or how hard it was for you. I want to hear you say you’re sorry for lying to me. Not sorry I found out. Sorry you lied. Sorry you didn’t trust me. Sorry you let me make a fool of myself for months.”
I swallowed hard. “Iamsorry. I’m sorry I lied to you. I’m sorry I didn’t trust you with the truth. I’m sorry I let fear control my choices. I’m deeply, truly sorry for hurting you.”
“Now tell me why I should forgive you.”
The question hung between us, and I found I didn’t have an answer. What could I say? That I’d been hurt before? That I’d wanted one year of being valued for myself? All of it sounded like excuses in the face of his pain.
“I don’t know if you should,” I said honestly. “I broke your trust. I made choices for both of us without giving you a say. I was scared, because…”
Something shifted in his expression. Still angry, still hurt, but listening now.
I had to tell him the truth. All of it. Every fucking embarrassing detail. “A year ago, I broke up with my girlfriend. Her name was Alexandra, and we’d been dating for eight months. I thought we were serious, that this was the real thing. I thought I loved her or at least, that I could love her.”
Adan frowned. “What the fuck does that have to do with anything?”
“Alexandra was only with me because of my title. Because I’m a prince. I overheard her talking to a friend about how boring I was, but that she’d go through with it because being with me would mean becoming a princess, would open doors for her.”
Adan opened his mouth, then closed it again. “What a bitch.”
I couldn’t help it. I laughed. It was such a classic Adan reaction. “Yes. She was…isa bitch. She recently got engaged to a Danish prince, so she got her wish after all.”
“Jesus.” Adan scrubbed his face with both hands. “I hope she wakes up thirsty and hot every night, needing to pee, only to step on Legos.”
It took a second for the full insult to register, but then I snorted. I immediately slapped my hand in front of my mouth. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to?—”
“I mean it. I hope both sides of her pillow will always be warm and that she’ll always have an itch right between her shoulder blades that she can’t reach.”
At first, I grinned, but then my smile faded. “She hurt me. Deeply. She took something from me: my self-confidence.”
“And you needed to test if people liked you for who you were rather than for your title or your money.” When I nodded, he let out a long sigh. “Well, fuck…”
“That doesn’t make it okay what I did.”
“No, but…” He studied me for a long moment. “I’m going to ask you questions, and you’re going to answer them. The whole truth this time.”
I nodded again.
“What’s your full title?”
“His Royal Highness Prince Nils Anders Gustav of Sweden, Prince of Sweden, Duke of Ångermanland, Knight and Commander of the Orders of His Majesty the King in The Royal Order of the Seraphim.”
“Jesus Christ.” He rubbed his face. “What about your family?”
