“Thanks. I love the vampire thing—very sexy and dangerous.” She stepped closer, close enough that I could smell her perfume over the party chaos. “I’ve been thinking about you lately.”
“Yeah?”
“Mm. Wondering why you disappeared on me. We were having fun last year, weren’t we?”
Alarm bells were going off. “We did, but this season got busy. Lots of training and games.”
“Well, it’s paying off. I heard there were NHL scouts at your last game.” She traced a finger along the edge of my cape, the gesture clearly meant to be flirtatious. “That’s so exciting.”
“It was pretty cool.”
I was trying to engage, trying to feel the same attraction that had drawn me to her before, but something was off. She was as beautiful as I remembered, and confident and fun, but looking at her didn’t trigger any of the physical responses I expected.
“You want to get some air?” she asked, leaning closer so her lips were nearly touching my ear. “It’s really crowded in here.”
Getting air with Ellie was code for making out on the back porch before heading back to her dorm room. A few months ago, I would have jumped at the invitation. Now, the idea left me completely cold.
“Maybe in a bit,” I said. “I should find my teammates first.”
“They’ll survive without you for a few minutes.” Her hand found my arm, squeezing gently. “Come on, I missed you.”
There was no mistaking the invitation. Ellie was making it clear that she wanted to pick up where we’d left off, that she was interested in more than just conversation. And objectively, I could appreciate that she was attractive, fun, available.
I felt absolutely nothing.
“Ellie,” I started, then stopped, not sure how to explain what I was feeling. Or wasn’t feeling.
“What’s wrong? You seem different tonight.”
“I’m just… I think I’m seeing someone.”
The words came out before I’d consciously decided to say them, surprising both of us. But as soon as I’d spoken, I realized they were true. Not officially, not in any way that made sense to the outside world, but true nonetheless.
“Oh.” Her face fell slightly, then recovered with practiced grace. “Anyone I know?”
“No, I don’t think so.”
“Serious?”
I thought about Nils, about the way I’d felt watching him coach me back to form, about the relief I’d experienced when we’d figured out how to work together again. About the way my chest tightened every time I looked at him, the way I’d rather spend time talking to him than partying with my teammates.
“It has the potential to be.”
“Well, shit. Lucky girl.”
If only she knew, but I saw no reason to correct her. The fewer people knew, the better.
“I should probably find my friends,” I said, feeling guilty about the disappointment in her expression.
“Of course. Maybe I’ll see you around campus.”
“Definitely. Have fun tonight.”
As Ellie disappeared back into the crowd, I stood there processing what had happened. She was exactly the type of person I usually found attractive: beautiful, confident, clearly interested. Six months ago, I would’ve been making out with her on the back porch by now.
Instead, all I could think about was Nils. The way he looked when he was concentrating on something, the careful way he explained technique, the rare moments when his composed façade dropped and I could see the person underneath. The way it felt when he kissed me, like everything else in the world stopped mattering.
I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Tank:
