Can’t wait to see this disaster, LOL
I cleared some space on the coffee table for my laptop and attempted to make sense of the pieces spread around me. Panel A was supposed to connect to Panel B using Hardware Q, but Panel A seemed to be missing the necessary holes for Hardware Q to fit through.
Or maybe I was holding Panel A upside down.
Or maybe this was actually Panel D.
By the time my laptop chimed with the incoming FaceTime call, I was questioning my ability to complete any task more complex than making coffee.
“There he is!” Tore’s voice filled my living room as three familiar faces appeared on the screen. “The crown prince of Swedish furniture assembly.”
“Technically, I’m not the crown prince of anything.” I settled cross-legged on the floor with my laptop balanced on the coffee table. “And welcome to Buffalo’s latest art installation: ‘IKEA Gone Wrong.’ Brought to you by Nils Anders, assistant hockey coach.”
“Oh my god.” Floris laughed, taking in the chaos behind me. “What is that supposed to be?”
“KALLAX shelving unit. Sixteen cubes, allegedly simple assembly.”
“Allegedly being the key word,” Greg said from his corner of the screen. He looked tired, probably another long day of royal obligations. “Are you actually following the instructions, or are you doing that thing where you assume you know better than the manual?”
“I’m following the instructions.” I held up the booklet. “Although instructions are too generous a term for what is nothing more than a glorified coloring book. These drawings were made by sadists.”
“You could make a royal decree that IKEA needs to make better instructions,” Greg told me. “What good is being a prince if you can’t use that privilege?”
I snorted. These guys never failed to make me laugh. “So what’s new with everyone?” I asked, reaching for my coffee. “How are things in your respective corners of North America?”
“Good,” Floris said. “Really good, actually. Orson and I are still nauseatingly happy, as my brother calls it.”
“That’s wonderful,” I said, meaning it. Floris had been hesitant about relationships after some difficult experiences, and seeing him happy with Orson had been a relief to all of us.
“How about you, Tore? How’s Farron?”
Tore’s entire face lit up at the mention of his boyfriend’s name. “He’s amazing. We’re planning to spend winter break together in Norway.”
“Your parents are okay with that?”
“They love him. Mom keeps asking when I’m bringing him back for another visit.”
The easy way Tore talked about his relationship, the casual mention of bringing Farron home for Christmas, and the obvious happiness in his voice all made me feel somehow hollow inside. Not with jealousy, but with a kind of longing I hadn’t expected.
“What about you, Greg?” I asked. “Any interesting developments in your life?”
Greg’s expression became carefully neutral, the way it always did when we touched on anything personal. “Same as always. Royal duties, public appearances, trying to stay out of the tabloids.”
We all knew there was more to Greg’s story, but he’d share when he was ready. That was how our friendship worked, with unconditional support, no pressure.
“Has anyone recognized you, Nils?” Floris asked. “I haven’t seen any mentions online yet.”
The thought of him keeping an eye out for me made me warm inside. “No, no recognition issues. Thank goodness Rideau agreed to keep my royal background confidential when Millard called for references.”
“Smart thinking ahead,” Tore said. Then his face tightened and he cleared his throat. “Did you, erm, see Alexandra’s announcement yesterday?”
Alexandra?“What do you mean?”
“The Danish royal family announced the engagement of Prince Gottfried to Alexandra.”
I swallowed, my throat suddenly tight. “I didn’t see that.”
“Gottfried’s a dick, so they’re well matched,” Floris said with his characteristic Dutch bluntness. “They deserve each other.”
