I’ve been working on a song. It’s rough. I’m still practicing it, still figuring it out, which probably tells you everything you need to know about me right now. I wrote these lyrics thinking about you, and about us, and about all the things I wish I’d said sooner.
Anyway… I wanted to share them with you. No pressure. Just tell me what you think — or don’t. I’ll understand either way.
Here are the lyrics, don’t have a title yet.
I don’t need a clean slate
I don’t need to be right
Just let me stand in the quiet
And try
I know I missed the moment
I know I crossed the line
But if there’s still a doorway open
I’ll take my time
We were easy once
We were honest then
I never thought about forever
Now I just want us back to then
The note’scontent stuck in my head most of the night, but I couldn’t quite decide what I wanted to say. Not yet. The next day seemed to pass like the one before, except darker and a little more twisted, as well as a hell of a lot more uncomfortable. So maybe not the same at all, no matter how I tried to frame it. It dawned with new pictures being posted online—while the faces were blurred to protect the not so innocent—everyone knewwho they were. Rumors peppered with more gag-worthy and titillating stories raced around the school like they were fueled by nos.
Information on their sexual preferences, including swapping girlfriends to rate them. That part kind of made me ill. When that little nugget dropped, we were at lunch and phones buzzed and trilled across the lunch room. It was a rare rainy day, but the rain kept us indoors.
Jake’s expression was my first warning. Real anger flashed across his face. Then Rachel made a beeline straight for me. I pulled my phone out and watched the carousel of photos detailing what the guys liked to do with the girls and horrifically—a rating system for the boys to mirror the one they’d apparently used for their girls.
I snapped it shut on the conversation about their tongue skills. I really didnotwant to know. Archie went almost ice-cold as he saved every detail before he left the table to call his attorney. Coop put his head down, lightly thumping it against the table. Jake launched himself and stormed out after Archie.
Bubba, though, sat there like stone—staring. When I followed his gaze, I found Sharon sitting at a table with Patty, Maria, Brit, Cheryl, Tonya…
Holy shit.
It was like a gathering of all their exes in one place. My stomach bottomed out. When Sharon noticed me looking, she smirked. Rachel cut off my view while also flipping them off.
“Stop responding,” she said in a hissed breath. Bubba jerked his gaze to her just as sheflickedCoop in the top of the head. “Stop reacting like a little bitch.”
Coop glared as he raised his head. “Excuse me?” Frost licked those two words.
“I won’t excuse any of you. This is your mess, you started it. Doesn’t make what she or any of them are doing any better.But the more you react, the more she’s going to feed off of it. So fucking grow a pair and knock it off.”
It was my turn to gape at Rachel. When she caught me looking, she just shrugged.
“Bullies feed on misery. She wants to punish you. They all do. You were a bunch of petty little dicks with your stupid games—” She raised a hand to forestall Bubba saying anything as he opened his mouth. “But they aren’t innocent fucking little flowers. They damn wellknewwhat was going on and they still played the game with you.”
That sent another shock rippling through me.
Coop opened his mouth, then snapped it closed again. Bubba’s frown tightened and he leaned forward, elbows on the table. “It’s not that simple.”
“No shit,” Rachel said with a shrug. “But it’s alsonotthat complicated.” After stealing a soggy fry off my plate, she transferred her attention to me. “We need to get you a dress for Homecoming.”
