FRANKIE
If I’d been hoping the universe would give me a breather after the whole “surprise, here’s a father you don’t want” bomb… yeah. No. Apparently, the universe had a sick sense of humor.
Because the next two days of school decided to gang-up and body-slam me emotionally. It started small—barely noticeable, like a weird hum in the background. But then it grew intoa thing. The guys seemed to becompeting.
Not loud, not obvious, not in a way anyone else would care about. I couldn’t miss it if I tried. I just—I just didn’t getwhythey were doing it.
Jake offered to carry my backpack to my first period class. Archie intercepted and snared my bag before Jake could. They glared at each other. If that wasn’t weird enough, Archie shadowed me to my math class with Bubba. After math, Bubba walked me to my French class where Rachel waited right outside the door. The look they shared puzzled me, but then Mathieu was there.
His unreadable expression made my stomach sink. He cut a look from me to Bubba then to Rachel before he settled his gaze back on me. “Do you have a moment?”
“No,” Bubba answered before I could. “She doesn’t. Bell rings in a minute. Save it for after school.”
I stared at Bubba for a beat before he gave me a gentle nudge in the door. “What are?—”
“I’ll talk to you at lunch,” he promised, but his gaze wasn’t on me at all. Instead, he focused on Mathieu.
“Frankie—” But that was all Mathieu got out before Rachel hooked her arm through mine.
“The testosterone is a little thick out here, see you boys.” She drew me into the classroom even as frustration scraped through me.
The rest of the day went much the same. Coop appeared outside of French class like his third period wasn’t on the far side of the building. Rachel cut off Mathieu before he got anywhere near me. I kind of hated that I was grateful for that.
Was I ghosting Mathieu? Were we broken up? Did I want to talk to him? Everything about him seemed so important—before. Was it not important now? Washenot important?
I didn’t have any answers. When Mom texted me over lunch, I just left it on read. I really didn’t have it in me to deal with her right now. Lunch itself was oddly muted. The guys were all in their own heads. Bubba slid me a note just as lunch ended and I stared at it a beat then looked at him.
He winked once before striding away to his next class. Bubba wrote me a note? That was… different. I was turning it over in my hand on my way to the library. Jake caught up to me before I got to the door. When he pulled it open, I met his questioning gaze.
“Study buddy?” His eyebrows lifted, hopeful—and just a little teasing. Another peace offering. His gaze dipped to the folded note in my hand, lingered there, then slid back to my face, like he was choosing not to ask.
“I’d like that.” I really would. I had a lot to do. “You can keep me honest.”
He snorted softly, that crooked, self-deprecating smile flashing like he knew exactly what he was doing. “Careful,” he said. “I was kind of hoping you’d do that for me.”
I hesitated, then grinned, an unwelcome—but familiar—thrill slipping through me. This Jake. Iknewthis Jake. For the first time in weeks, it was like my friend was back. “Sounds like a plan.”
The next hour passed swiftly, but comfortably despite the hum of everything we weren’t saying underscoring the moment. I even survived seventh period with Mr. G and he took me aside to chat.
Embarrassed as hell about my reaction, I would have preferred to have just tucked my head down and forgotten it. Mr. G, however, assured me that his suggestion wasn’t anything to do with my ability or intelligence, but his worry that I was overwhelmed. If I wanted to buckle down and soldier on, he was there to support me.
It was…a lot.
I had no idea how much I needed to hear that. Through it all, I avoided any deeper talks with the guys. Weirdly, I also felt closer to them and I had no idea how to deal with that. So—I didn’t.
At least not then.
I saved Bubba’s note until I got home and found Mom absent—thankfully—I was still avoiding her, but it was easier when she made herself scarce. As long as I didn’t think about where she was or what she was doing, I could stomach it better. Yes, I read her text but I just tabbed it open so the notification would go away. I didn’t actually read it. I was firmly in stick my head in the sand mode.
Settled in my room, I unfolded the paper and smoothed out the blue-lined sheet. The sharp letters with their hard angles and neat slashes filled the page.
Hey,
I’m not great at knowing how to say things out loud, so this felt safer. Maybe that’s a cop-out. If it is, I’m sorry. Tell me and I’ll work on that.
I know I’ve got a lot of ground to make up with you. I also know I might not be able to fix everything, or even most things. I’m not pretending otherwise. I just… miss us. Or maybe who we used to be, before things got complicated and I got in my own way.
I don’t expect anything from you. I just want to be honest about where I am. I want to earn back your trust, even if all that means is being someone you can laugh with again. Someone you don’t have to guard yourself around.
