‘Nothing will ever be the same after today,’ he murmured. ‘Today is your day, my love.’
She looked up at him as he took a step back, as he reached for the hand that held her bow and gently lifted it, placing a kiss against her skin as he looked into her eyes; eyes that told her she had nothing to fear. Eyes that told her he believed in her.
‘Thank you,’ she whispered, swallowing past the fear in her throat, choosing in that moment to believe the words of the man who loved her.
Then her name was called, and as Bernard slipped into the background, Alexandra stood tall and took her first step onto the stage, her heels clicking as everything around her fell silent.
Bernard was right. It was time to show the world who she truly was.
It only took Alexandra seconds to walk across the stage. She stood, trying not to hold her violin too tightly, trying not to bunch her shoulders, to breathe evenly. If she was to be part of the orchestra, she would have to be confident, so focused on her music that she didn’t falter beneath the bright lights or become bewildered by the crowd.
‘Name?’
She tried not to squint as she looked out at the small panel of men waiting to assess her. She knew one of them was the current conductor of the orchestra, as well as the principal violinist.
‘Alexandra Konstantinidis,’ she said, squaring her shoulders as she spoke, and making sure her voice was loud enough to carry to them.
‘Please tell us what you are playing today.’
‘I will be playing Pachelbel’s “Canon in D”.’
There were no further questions, and Alexandra waited a moment, composing herself. It was then that a movement caught her eye, someone entering at the rear door, presumably the only other person in the theatre besides those immediately before her.
Bernard. It was impossible to see that far, the lights were too bright, but she could feel him, knew that it was him.
Play for me. That’s what he’d told her.Imagine you are playing for me and only me.
A smile quivered across her lips as she lifted her violin and positioned it between her chin and shoulder, keeping her arms soft as she blew out the gentlest of breaths.
And then she began. Her bow danced across the strings, the music coming to life as she played with everything she had, as she smiled at Bernard in her mind and imagined that she was simply standing in his attic bedroom, with him sitting on the bed as her audience of one.
Perspiration touched her forehead and her upper lip, but Alexandra wasn’t nervous. Not now. Bernard had been right when he’d told her it was her time to show the world who she was. All those years she’d wondered what it would be like to perform, and here she was, playing with all her heart.
As she played the final note, she paused, her breath shallow as she closed her eyes, wanting to absorb the feeling of being on stage, to remember it forever. She half expected someone to clap, but instead she was greeted with silence.
She lowered her instrument and took a step forwards, hoping for praise but receiving none.
‘Thank you, Miss Konstantinidis.’
Alexandra nodded and walked slowly and confidently from the stage, as if she weren’t terrified, as if her hands weren’t trembling from the adrenaline surging through her body. Her legs felt like a newborn foal’s, ready to buckle at the knees after each unsteady step.
But when she was out of sight, the next musician to audition striding past her, she collapsed against the wall.
I did it. I actually did it! If they don’t think I’m good enough, then so be it, because I played with all my heart.
Alexandra knew it was the performance of her lifetime. She had played as if her very life depended upon it.
‘Alex!’ Bernard’s excited whisper wrapped around her.
‘Please tell me I was good,’ she asked, as Bernard took her hand and guided her out through the back door into the fresh air.
‘Good?’ he asked, scooping her up and swinging her in a big circle. ‘Alex, you were phenomenal! It took every inch of my willpower to stop from clapping and cheering when you finished.’
‘Truly?’ she asked, when he finally set her down.
‘Truly,’ he repeated. ‘If they don’t invite you to become a member, they’re mad.’
Alexandra knew she had to be so much better than anyone else there to be chosen. She was a woman, for starters, which meant that she had to be better than any man. And then there was her age, although she wasn’t certain if they’d take that into consideration or not. She imagined her gender was likely the one thing that could hold her back, unless she was far better than anyone else auditioning.
