“I’m fine,” I tell him, shrugging so his big hand falls off my shoulder.
“I know, but can I check anyway?” His voice is still hushed.
“No.”
He’s quiet, and I figure that’s the last of it. “Come on, Harper. Let me check.”
“I’m fine.” My tone and words leave no room for question.
“Okay.” I expect him to leave, but he doesn’t. “You can sleep,” he finally says. “You’re safe here. I won’t let anything happen to any of you.”
His words give me pause. “You’re not going to sleep?”
“No.”
“I can switch off with you,” I offer.
“I’m fine,” he says, echoing my own words back to me.
“Thorne said you need to be fresh for tomorrow.”
“Yeah, well it’s not Thorne’s family that they’re after.” His words are harsh. I don’t point out that I’m not part of his family.
Silence falls between us, and I figure now is the time he’ll move away from me. Before he leaves, I tell him what I’ve been wanting to say but haven’t known how. I keep it simple. “I’m sorry, Rauk. I—I had no idea this was as bad as it is. I'm sorry that this is happening to your family and your kingdom, and,” I swallow my pride. “I’m sorry that I was so hard on you about the war. I said a lot of things that weren’t...fair to you. I’m sorry.”
It’s silent a moment. “Did you just apologize?”
I frown at the wall. “I can take it back,” I warn.
He huffs out a breath. “No takebacks.”
When he still doesn’t move, I speak again. “Can I ask you something?”
“Yeah.”
We both keep our voices soft, so we don’t wake Elowen or Auri. “What happened to Auri?”
He’s silent for so long, I think maybe he left and I didn’t hear him go. But then he moves, and I realize he’s now sitting against the wall next to the top of my cot, only inches from my head. “Our father hurt her when she was just a baby.” I close my eyes; that was not what I expected to hear.
“I’m sorry.”
“He got mad that she wouldn’t stop crying one day.” He stops, and I’m glad. I don’t want to hear anymore.
Pieces of the puzzle start to connect in my mind. “Did he hurt your mom too?” I barely whisper the question.
He doesn’t answer for a beat. Then, “Yes.”
And just like that, I know. “That’s why you killed him.”
“Yes.” There’s no hesitation on his part. There’s a weird pain right behind my breastbone, but I ignore it. It’s not for Rauk, I tell myself; it’s for Auri. “She died with him.”
“I’m sorry,” I finally say, still staring at the wall in front of me.
“Don’t be.” His words are cold and surprise me. “She was a heartless woman with no love for her daughter.”
“Or her son?” I question and immediately wish I could take them back. That was too far.
“Or her son,” he admits. “She should have protected Auri.” I hear the bitterness in his voice, but I also hear what he’s not saying. She didn’t protecthimeither. I know that as much as Iknow my own name.
