Shawna shrugged. “Those who can, do. Those who get their hearts ripped out and shredded offer advice.”
“I’m sorry about Harris.”
“Me, too. I’m hoping in a few days I’ll move from being sad to being angry. At least then I’ll know I’ve started through the stages of grief.”
“You’ll get there. You’re tough.”
“So are you.”
Ryleigh was less sure, but Shawna had certainly given her something to think about. Tell Alex how she felt? Could she? Should she? Or maybe the more important question was, what was she going to lose if she didn’t at least try?
Monday morning Jax found herself unable to concentrate on much of anything but the clock. She had her specialdatewith Marcus that night and she was all fluttery with anticipation. She kept pulling out her phone to text him, then shoving it back into her pocket. She wasn’t sixteen—she could wait like a reasonable person. It was a workday and she needed to be doing the work thing.
A little after ten Marcus showed up with lattes, doughnuts and a sheepish expression. “I have a meeting with a client in an hour, but I wanted to see you.”
She smiled at him, happy he was as eager as she was. “Thank you. I want to be seen.”
They went out to the side patio where customers often ate their lunch on Wednesday First Chapter Hour. At this time of day it was quiet and private.
They sat across from each other. Marcus handed her one of the lattes and a chocolate-glazed doughnut.
“How are you doing?” he asked. “How are the kids?”
“They’re still sad about the breakup. We talked about it a lot, so I think they’re starting to feel a little better. My guess is they’re waiting to grill their dad about what happened. He was supposed to come over that night, but he flaked out. I’ve warned him so I’m hoping he has a better explanation than the sex wasn’t worth the trouble of a fake engagement.”
Marcus raised his eyebrows. “He wouldn’t say that to them, would he?”
“No, but he’s going to have to come up with some explanation. I suggested he lean in to realizing he didn’t love her the right way and knew it was wrong to pretend.” And while she hoped her ex would listen, she honestly wasn’t sure.
“Gentry’s upset about the wedding, but Xander has surprised me with how much he really misses Shawna.”
“Does that bother you?”
Jax considered the question. “I’m not jealous or anything. I always knew he was a sweet kid, but I’m still surprised at how tenderhearted he is. I guess he and Shawna bonded the most.”
“Are you moving back into the main bedroom?”
“I don’t think so. Sharing with Harris didn’t bother me before because we weren’t actually in the room together and it had been my bedroom before the divorce. But now I think I’d feel strange being up there. My little oasis suits me better. As long as the kids are fine with having me downstairs, which they are, then that’s where I’ll stay.”
She took a bite of her doughnut and chewed. “I feel awful about Shawna but I sure won’t miss her intrusive mother. In a way it’ll be nice to get our lives back to normal. Harris and I switching our weeks without any drama. Working in the bookstore, hanging out with my sister. Ramon is home, Huckleberryis settling in. It’s all good and everything I need. I’m looking forward to the summer.”
Marcus gave her a strange look. “That’s your life.”
The words were normal enough but there was something in his tone.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, even as she replayed her sentences, looking for something she might have said that would upset him.
He studied her for several seconds. “I didn’t get it before and I should have. You were trying to set me up with your sister. At first I thought you were kidding, that it wasn’t really about me or us, but I was wrong. You were serious.”
Jax sensed there was a problem but she had no idea what it was. “But that was before, when I was trying to find her a man so she would stay here. I wouldn’t try to set you up with her now.”
“But you weren’t looking for anyone. You weren’t interested in me.”
Warning signs were flashing. She told herself to be careful, although it was difficult to know what to say or not say when she had no idea what was wrong.
“I thought you were good-looking,” she said cautiously. “And nice. Good at your job. Sexy.”
“But if I hadn’t kissed you, you never would have thought of dating me.”
