“Look . . .” He breaks the silence as we approach my sister’s house. The remnants of the Halloween party—pumpkins, skulls, and fake cobwebs—scattered everywhere. “I really didn’t mean to cause any problems by coming here. I’m just lonely. I miss Steven. And I wanted to make things right with you.” He reaches for my hand. “I’m very sorry.”
I let his words sink in as I stare at his outstretched hand—the decision to accept his apology within reach. For months I have felt nothing but bitter and resentment towards Liam and what he did. It would be so easy for me to walk away and let his words linger in the air. But what will that accomplish? How will I ever get past my anger?
Extend grace, Eleanor.
Taking a deep breath as I take his hand in mine, I say, “I forgive you.” And for the first time since our almost-wedding, I feel like I truly mean it.
Giving my hand a tiny squeeze, he says, “Thank you.”
His hand retreats back to his side, respecting the unspoken boundary we have in place as ex-fiancé’s, but he stands there looking at his feet. Looking like he needs more than a hand-squeeze.
It may be the heat of the sun hazing my senses, or the cool autumn breeze filling my brain with nostalgia, or something else inside of me, ridding me of my anger and bitterness, because in this moment I feel nothing but love for Liam. Love for a man I know deep down is kind and passionate. A man who wants to care for people—the marginalized and stigmatized. A man who doesn’t know when to shut up. A man who ishuman, just like me—messy and broken and far from perfect.
Without asking or acknowledging our boundaries, I step up to Liam and pull him into a hug. And as if it’s exactly what he needed, his entire body relaxes and hugs me back.
“I swear if you two get back together,” Emma shouts at us from her porch, wrapped in her fluffy white robe. “I will revolt!”
Breaking out of our hug Liam smiles at me. “I don’t want to get back together, ya know.”
“Me neither.” I wink at him. And I mean it, I really don’t.
There was never any doubt in my mind two years ago that I could have married Liam and been content. But would I have been happy? I don’t really know. The life we could have had flashes across my mind and it fills me with peace knowing that’s not where I ended up.
We spend the rest of the morning catching up at the kitchen table, sharing about our clients—old and new—and reminiscing on life in New York. He even welcomes conversation about the students and our term. I share the details of the Columbia job with all of them, welcoming their input and suggestions.
“I think it would be a spectacular opportunity,” Liam says as he sets his duffle bag down by the front door.
“Agree to disagree,” Emma whispers from the couch, holding a sleeping twin against her shoulder.
“We should let Ellie make her own decisions,” Steven says, putting on his coat as he kisses Emma on the head. “Now, let’s get going.”
Steven heads out the door and to the car as Liam puts on his coat. “Walk with me?” he asks me. I follow him as he waves bye to Emma. “I can’t tell you what to do,” he says as he throws his bag in the truck, “but I think you should at least consider the job.”
“I’m thinking about it.” I wrap myself deeper into the blanket I carried outside. “But honestly, what I pictured myself doing long-term has changed.”
“Is it because ofhim?” He refers to Benny with raised eyebrows and a slight lift at the corner of his mouth.
“Why? Are you jealous?” I laugh.
“I am, actually,” he says, earnestly. I gape at him, confusion and worry surely visible on my face. “I’m jealous of your happiness.”
My chest flutters at the thought.
Happiness.
“You are, aren’t you?”
“Hmm?” I ask, my mind still fixated on his last statement.
“Happy?”
“I think I am.” I grin sincerely.
“Well then”—he opens the car door then faces me—“I’m happy for you.” He hugs me goodbye as I murmur “thank you”into his shoulder. “But you should still go to the interview.”
“Come on, we gotta go!” Steven says, starting the car and blaringI Believe I Can Flythrough his fancy car speakers.
“Every time.” Liam rolls his eyes as he climbs into the car.
