“Wait!”Guess not.
His steps speed up as he catches up to me. Damn his grasshopper legs.
“What do you want, Liam?” I pant, picking up my speed.
“Can we talk about last night?”
That is the last thing I want to do. Especially with him. Last night was the worst night I’ve had in a long time and it was all because of him and his absurdly loud mouth.
“Just give me a chance, El!”
“Why?” I yell as I halt to a stop, gravel from the driveway hitting my shins.
“Because I messed up! And I want to fix it!” he yells at me, throwing his arms out.
“Is that what you were doing last night?” My throat burns as I scream at him, “Fixing it?”
“Well no . . .” He rubs the back of his neck as he struggles to find words. “I just . . . I don't know when to shut up sometimes.”
I cackle. “You think?”
He smiles, and I feel a sting in my chest—so many memories contained in that smile. “I know I can be a lot.”
“Again, duh,” I scoff as I turn to start walking.
Liam is on my heels, walking in step behind me. “I just feel like after everything we have been through, I could be honest with you about your future.”
“You lost that privilege when you abandoned me!”
“I didn’t abandon you!”
“Oh really?” I spin around to face him, my face hot and tense. “Then what would you call leaving meat the altar?”
“Alright, I know that wasn’t the best way to handle it. But that was almost two years ago, are you really still angry?”
“Yes I am!” I yell, resisting the urge to stomp around to drive my point home.
“I’m sorry, alright? I am so sorry!” he yells back, stunning me with his first apology since the wedding. “I made a mistake and I know that. But you of all people knowthiswasn’t working.”
I cross my arms and look down at the wet ground, red dirt caked to the tops of my shoes. I can feel his eyes on me as he waits for me to respond.
He lets out a deep breath. “Aren’t you tired of being angry, Eleanor?”
His words hit me like a ton of bricks. I was tired of being angry. But I wasn’t going to tell him that. No way was I going to give him the satisfaction.
I turn on my heels and continue walking, focusing on the orange and red elm trees lining the driveway. The sprinkle of rain soaking my hair. Liam catches up to me and we walk in silence for a few minutes. We approach the end of the driveway to the busy road, waiting for the cars to pass before turning and walking along the curb. I glance at Liam as he stops to tie his shoe, noticing the bagginess of his pants as he stands back up. This is the first time I was reallylookingat him since he got here. He looks thin and frail—his skin is pale, and his eyes are surrounded by dark circles. They look different . . . sad. He doesn’t look like the Liam I knew.
We turn down a road. “So, how are you?” I break the silence as we walk.
“I’m pretty tired these days.” He kicks at the leaves along the side of the curb. The Liam I knew for so long was a ball of energy, the adrenaline of his work fueling him in ways I couldn’t keep up with. But now, I canseehow tired he is. My heart breaks for him a little. “I never leave the clinic.” He pushes out a hard sigh, shoving his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants.
“Is Randy still there?” I continue with small talk, avoiding the pang of sadness I feel for him as it dawns on me how lonely he really is.
“Of course. He’ll never leave. I told him I can’t pay him any more than what I am but he won’t quit on me.” We both laugh at the thought of the seventy-year-old receptionist manning the phones and learning the complex telemedicine system.
“That sounds like Randy.”
The rain slows to a stop and the sun starts to peek through the trees on each side of the road as we make a U-turn to head back. The walk back to the house is much hotter than the first part of our walk so we pick up the pace, jogging alongside each other as an eerie silence falls between us. Silence is a rarity most people don’t get with Liam.
