I, on the other hand, can’t fucking wait for Neon Nights. Add that to the list of things I never thought I’d say. But after last night, I’d go anywhere if it meant Claire would be there too. Speaking of things I never thought I’d say —“I’m not going to do this.”What the hell was that? I’m so glad I decided to have a conscience then, at that exact moment.
After seeing her on that bed looking like a goddamn goddess, it took everything in me to get up and walk away from her. Figuratively and literally considering what I was sporting between my legs. It’s an actual miracle I was able to move at all, but I had to. When I told her I wanted all of her, which even took me by surprise, I wasn’t lying. It’s the reason I texted her last night in the first place, to spend more time with her. So, I knew it was the right thing to do to leave before it got to that point but man, sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same.
This girl drives me crazy. Mentally, physically, fucking emotionally, she makes me feel things I’ve never felt before. She makes me say things and do things I’ve never said or done before, but that’s exactly why I wasn’t willingto let her think I texted her just to get her into bed. Girls like Claire, want more than that. Hell, I want more than that, and if proving that means going home and taking care of things myself, then that’s just what I’m going to do.
That’s just what I did.
Now, I’m running around like a maniac and haven’t had even a second to text her. It’s not a good look, even I know that. No matter the reason, I left her shirtless on her bed last night and have yet to talk to her at all today. Definitely not ideal.
“Yo, buddy, you ready for tonight?” Sean calls from under the hood of the car next to the one I’m working on.
“Oh, I’m ready.” It’s a loaded answer but only to me.
“You bringing a present?”
Shit, I didn’t even think of that. Do people still get grown adults gifts? I don’t think I’ve ever gotten more than a few in all of my birthdays, so maybe I’m not the best judge.
“Should I? I haven't yet, but I guess I could stop somewhere on my way home.”
“Ah, man, I’ve had my present ready to go for weeks now.” He sounds way too eager about a gift he got for his boss’s daughter. I roll my eyes but play along.
“What’d you get, Sean?”
He pops out from the hood with the biggest smile on his face. Talking with his hands he emphasizes every word.
“Pearl. Stud. Earrings.”
I’m momentarily confused. Not because I don’t know what pearl studs are but because I don’t understand the significance of getting them for Maddie. Seeing my uncertainty, he explains.
“You know! Cause they’re her birthstone.”
Wow, that’s actually crazy fucking nice.
Sean jokes around all the time about being into Maddie, but I always thought he was just doing it to get under Zeke’s skin. Does he actually like her? He's younger than me so I guess it would only be weird because she's a Monroe. But, he has to — I didn’t even get a gift and he bought possibly the most thoughtful one, not to mention, those things can’t be cheap.
“That’s cool, man. She’ll love ‘em.”
“Damn straight! And wrapped in a purple bow. Her favorite color.” He goes back to what he’s working on, and I can’t help but laugh. This guy is one of a kind.
I make it back to my apartment with just enough time to shower and change. Thank God my outfit is already set. I stopped at the liquor store on the way home and picked up a bottle of very average tequila. Twenty-one-year-old girls are into that, right? At this point the answer is irrelevant. It’s all I got, and I have to be at Claire’s in twenty minutes if I want to be at Neon Nights when the party starts.
I rip the tags off of the jeans and t-shirt and throw them on. Despite how much I hate shopping, Ro was right. These look way better than my usual outfit. I remind myself to never, ever admit that to him and slide on the Vans that are also growing on me.
I take a look at myself in the mirror. The reflection I seelooksdifferent, but itfeelsdifferent too. Call me crazy, but this girl gives me something to be excited about. Something to be hopeful for. Something I don’t know that I’ve ever had before.
I grab my keys and the bottle of tequila and head out the door. I light a cigarette and the first rush of nicotine calms nerves I didn’t even realize that I had. I mean it makes sense. I’m about to go out on my first official date with a girl who is way out of my league, whose father owns the car of my dreams, at a nightclub where if not now physically, at least mentally, I’ll stick out like a sore thumb.
Instantly, I’m hit with a flashback.
Iam barely nine years old and standing in the middle of the type of living room I’ve only ever seen in movies. They have ceilings that must be twelve feet high, a giant couch that runs the length of the house, and the biggest TV I have ever seen. Mel is in the kitchen next door talking to a couple with fancy names and fancy jewelry, and sitting on the giant couch are three kids — all well dressed, well groomed, and staring at me.
The oldest is a boy about my age, only we’re complete opposites physically. Where my hair is ash blonde and overgrown, his is dark brown and clipped neatly by his ears. His clothes are clean and wrinkle-free. Mine are faded and there’s a hole in the seam under one of my arms.
The other two are girls. One looks like she’s maybe six or seven and the younger one is probably around three. She sits close to her big sister, hiding some sort of stuffed animal behind her back. Both girls are wearing matching dresses and have headbands that pull their hair neatly away from their faces.
“Why’s he here?” the youngest girl whispers to the others.
“Looks like you need a bath,” the boy says.
