‘Amazing? Really? After all this, that’s how you would describe me?’
He took her hand in response, and instantly her whole body ignited at his touch, just like it had the day they’d met.
‘You can be a temperamental, infuriating, pain in the neck and still be amazing. People are complex creatures, Lorelai.’ Grayson drew circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.
‘I think that’s something I understand now. You’re not either a monster or a saint. Most of the time it’s…’
‘It’s a bit of both?’ Grayson laughed nervously and inched closer to her. He was so close now, Lorelai could smell the mint on his breath.
‘Yes, we’re all a bit of both.’
Lorelai’s hair caught the wind and a strand blew in front of her face. Grayson delicately removed it with a finger and tucked it behind her ear, lingering to caress her face.
‘You know, I’ve only had a second kiss once.’ Lorelai smiled.
‘Really?’ Grayson was hovering just inches from her face, waiting for her to close the distance, just as he had in Trafalgar Square. Only this time Lorelai knew she wouldn’t run.
‘The first kiss is usually enough to put me off kissing them again. Or kissing anyone again for that matter. But I did a bit of experimenting just after I’d met you. I know this is essentially me admitting to kissing a bunch of people who weren’t you but it was all because I was preparing for… you. Someone kissed me and I saw his death change between kisses, so it made me want to know more. I needed to know I wasn’t going to seal your fate and kill you off if I kissed you. I needed to know I was only watching someone die. Not causing them to die. I kissed this guy and I saw him die on his bike. So Joanie stole it and when I kissed him again the vision had changed.’
‘So you’re not like… the grim reaper?’ He raised an eyebrow.
‘No.’ Lorelai winced a little but still managed a small smile, ‘Thankfully not. My lips do not have the power to set someone’s death in stone. It can still change whether I’ve kissed them or not.’
‘OK,’ Grayson said, a small frown on his face, ‘I’m new to this but IthinkI understand. It’s good to know I’m not in any danger.’ He smiled, tipping her chin up to him with his finger.
‘None whatsoever,’ she whispered. Lorelai took hold of the lapels of his coat and pulled him to her and without leaving herself a moment to hesitate, to second-guess herself or to change her mind, she kissed Grayson with everything she had.
There was no plane. There was no fire and no screaming. Instead, there was a garden. It was so very green, lined with trees so dense that the sun had a hard time shining through. Lorelai could hear the birds chirping above them and there was a clinking sound coming from behind her, like people laying a table, getting ready to eat. Just like when she kissed Joanie, she realised quickly that she was seeing everything through the eyes of her older self. Eyes that didn’t see quite as well as they used to, even though she had glasses perched on the end of her nose. A peaceful tiredness overcame her and she sank into it. It was almost overwhelming to the point of tears. She felt a hand shake hers gently. Lorelai looked down and saw Grayson’s umber skin against her own wrinkled hand, his fingers entwined with hers.
‘Lorelai?’ His voice sounded quiet and weaker than she was used to but it was him. It was definitely him. She found it hard to raise her head to him, but when she finally saw his smile the struggle was worth it.
‘Grayson.’ She could barely raise her voice to more than a feeble whisper but she knew he had heard her because he squeezed her hand.
‘Shh, don’t speak, darling.’ He rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand like he had done only moments ago on the bow of the ship. ‘Thank you for saving me. In more ways than one. Thank you for giving us this life. It’s been a pleasure. I love you. More than anything but now it’s time to let go.’ Grayson didn’t sound sad. He sounded prepared. Like he knew this moment was coming. Lorelai tried to squeeze his hand, to let him know she understood but all her strength had left her. All she could manage was one last smile before everything went dark. Lorelai had seensomething she’d never seen before; her own ending. Which could only mean one thing: Grayson would outlive her.
‘Well?’ Grayson asked a few moments after they parted, his cheeks wet from her tears.
‘Sorry,’ Lorelai said, wiping her tears from his face.
‘I’m getting used to you crying when you kiss me. I’m trying not to take it personally.’ He took the end of his scarf and gently dried her tears. She looked at this man who had her heart and for the first time in forever she felt… free.
Three people now knew her secret and not a single one of them had run from her. For years she had shut people out for fear of them discovering the real Lorelai and abandoning her. She realised now it was Lorelai who had abandoned herself. It was Lorelai who had trapped herself inside a cage, choosing a life that left her unfulfilled and in denial. Now she had a mother who not only understood her but had experienced what she was going through. She had a best friend who had always been there for her and was prepared to fight anyone who hurt her. And now a love. A person she adored who knew her secret and had still chosen to kiss her. A man she had run from on several occasions, who was still standing in front of her with his arms wide open. Now, not only had she successfully saved Grayson’s life but she had given him a life longer than her own. She had given him decades that she would share with him, but so would his family. She and Grayson would be together always and she knew she would do all she could to make sure their life was a happy one, full of love and laughter and total honesty.
‘So… what did you see?’ Grayson asked, his eyes beginning to glisten as well.
Lorelai remembered her grandmother’s note.Never tell someone how they’re going to die. No one wants to be burdened with that information. Even if they say they do.Telling Grayson, she decided, would be a burden on him. It might stop him from living life to the full. She would take away the idea of living every day as if it were his last and where was the fun in that?
Lorelai shook her head and leaned in for another kiss as she whispered, ‘Let’s just wait and see, shall we?’
Thirty
Six Months Later
‘You did great. You can relax now.’ Joanie put her arm around Lorelai’s shoulders.
Minus the initial troublemakers, every single member of the Page to Screen club had continued to attend each month. Even Riggs had decided to join. He’d got the job working at the voice-over studio but realised he’d missed the cinema too so had joined the club. Lorelai realised, too, that she had never given him enough credit. He seemed to not only be enjoying himself but also genuinely cared about being part of the discussion and had become a valued member of the group. As for Lorelai, she had had every intention of resigning, but Wesley had convinced her to drop down to part-time instead, so she now balanced life at The Duchess with pursuing her screenwriting dreams. She had never been happier.
Even though the club members had all become closer and Lorelai knew everyone better now, she still wasn’t entirely comfortable talking in front of everyone. Public speaking wasn’t one of her skills but she was thankful that the club had become exactlywhat she had envisioned it to be. Everyone was settling into their seats in the smaller screen at The Duchess, and Lorelai and Joanie were standing at the back, surveying the crowd. The movie they were watching this month wasThe Princess Bride.
