Salt snorts softly.
"Yeah… okay. But enough about me. This topic is like an ever-flowing river, I could keep going, but I don’t really want to. I have spent hours of my life stuck in what-ifs. Now I want tohear your story too, because I am sure you did not have it easy either."
We fall silent for a moment. Salt’s hands relax a little now, resting more softly in my grip. I look at his fingers, slender, with thin tattoo lines of threads running across the backs of his hands, shaped like an ornate web.
"Why spiders? Out of all the ideas, you chose this one. What were the reasons?"
"It’s a piece of the life Senu and I had back then. In abandoned, ruined buildings where we squatted during the time we were homeless. Those spiders… they were everywhere. I’d wake up and they’d be crawling on me. At first I was scared, but then I just gave up. Sometimes I even let them crawl over me. It sounds silly, but it felt like… a symbol of my downfall. My worthlessness. The lack of a future. And the web… slowly covering me like a protective cocoon. And what was left? Just this hope that maybe someday I’d come out of it in a better time. Changed. With my brain healed."
I swallow. "I’m sorry that you… suffered like that, Salt. I understand. No one should have to go through something like that."
Salt lets out another impatient snort. "But it’s still all about me… and I know you have your own story, and it’s no less tragic. Will you tell me?"
To be honest, I really don’t want to talk about it. But I get the feeling that for Salt this is the first moment when we actually start getting to know each other, and if we are about to have sex, it kind of makes sense to build at least a basic sense of trust and understanding first.
I can see why it matters, even if I am not in the mood to face my own inner demons. I would much rather move this to the bedroom and keep getting closer that way. Still, it feels important, so I start.
"Well, there are really only a few events that led me to where I am now. In my family, out of three brothers, my uncle Tito was meant to become capo. My father was second in line, and third was the youngest, Anzo, the only beta. He was the sharpest of them all, and because of that, my father and Uncle Tito bullied and tortured him."
"Tortured their own brother?"
"Yeah. It was horrific. Truly beyond words. Mafia upbringing taken to an extreme. But then my father unexpectedly found his True Mate when he was just eighteen. That changed him. He stepped away from the mafia and from his past, and he apologized to Anzo. But Anzo never forgave him, nor Tito. When I was a toddler, Anzo decided to take his revenge on his brothers. One day he went to Tito’s house and killed him. Then he came to ours. He killed my dad, and the energy coil between True Mates snapped, killing my father."
"Oh, fuck! Does it actually work that way?"
"Sadly, yes."
"That is a rare way to die, but so horrible. I’m so sorry… I didn't know your parents were True Mates," Salt says, his voice uncertain.
I shrug. "Yeah. People often say True Mates are hard to kill, but it’s bullshit. In a way they are much easier to kill than anyone else. You pull a plug on one and the other dies instantly."
"Well, but they can regenerate if they… you know. Enter the Joining, join their body in healing sex."
I snort in amusement. "Yeah… maybe for a wound that can let you stay alive long enough to do it! But not from a headshot. Sorry."
I can hear Salt swallowing loudly. "Right."
Taking a deep breath, I continue, "Anyway, after killing Tito and my parents, Anzo, strangely enough, took all his nephews into his fortress: me, my brothers, and Tito’s only son, Ennio. Heraised the five of us while drilling into our heads that it wasn't him who was responsible for the killings, only the Russians. But my brother Mauro was a witness. He saw everything and never forgot. Anzo gave him drugs meant to damage his memory, but the only thing it caused was that my brother stopped speaking. That memory could not be torn out of Mauro’s mind. The atmosphere in our house was awful. Anzo was a very strict parent, demanding excellent grades and athletic achievements, especially in martial arts. I resisted it the most out of all of us. Rocco and Luca actually came to like it. Mauro and Ennio just adapted to Anzo’s rules. We all had to fight, including Ennio, in the omega category. There was no way out. To ensure our obedience, Anzo implanted metal rods in us that allowed him to shock us remotely. And when someone tried to protest, anything really, he was electroshocked. If someone tried to run, like I did, he would track me using a device hidden in the rod. As punishment, he would lock me in cages for days and whip me. That is the kind of caregiver he was."
"Wait, wait. If the rod is still there, can Rocco…?"
"No, Anzo had the tracking device in his own implant. It was dismantled. He’s in prison."
I realize how detached I sound as I tell my story, my voice almost flat. So I decided to add a bit about how I really felt, just to keep it from sounding like a report.
"If I had not had the support of Ennio, Luca, and Mauro, I probably would have killed myself. But I stayed alive because they did, and they kept telling me,don’t give up, push forward, survive it, one day it will end, and well… they were right."
"That is where the scars come from? You tried to escape a few times?"
"Yeah. I hated that life. Luckily, when I was sixteen, I was sent for a year to my great-uncle Alberto, my grandfather’s brother. It was because Anzo, as a beta, couldn’t prevent mefrom enteringMusth. That year was the best time of my life. It showed me what a normal family looks like, love and trust, how good relationships between people can be, without the sick atmosphere Anzo created."
"I have heard horror stories about young alphas going intoMusth."
"Yeah. Seeing how healthy Alberto’s relationship with Uncle Darien was, I swore to myself that one day I would escape and build my own family, completely different from the one Anzo showed me."
Well, maybe I shouldn’t say this. Salt stiffens slightly again, clearly uncomfortable with the topic, and I get the feeling I should wrap up this fucked-up life stories session.
"Other than what I have told you, not much happened in my life. I secretly ran my blog and kept training, watching the twisted games and activities that took place inside the fortress, run by Anzo and Rocco."
