“No,” I said honestly, my voice trembling.
She almost smiled. “No one ever is. We’ll take care of you.”
“If I don’t make it?—”
“We’re gonna do our best to make sure you make it.”
“But if I don’t, tell Michael I meant what I said in the letter. Tell him to keep living.”
“I’ll tell him. But you’re going to tell him yourself when you wake up.”
The anesthesiologist appeared. “I’m going to count backwards from ten. You’ll be asleep before I get to one.”
“Okay.”
“Ten… nine… eight…”
I thought about Michael standing in the hallway. My family waiting. The beach and the ferris wheel and every moment that led me here.
“Seven. Six…”
I thought about waking up. About surviving. About getting more time—just a little more time.
“Five. Four…”
I thought about not waking up. About the letters on Michael’s nightstand. About everything left unsaid.
“Three…”
I wanted more time. More mornings. More years. More him.
“Two…”
I wasn’t ready to die. Not yet. Not like this.
“One.”
And then everything went dark.
CHAPTER 19
Claudette
I woke up.
That was the first miracle.
The second was opening my eyes to Michael’s face above mine—exhausted, tear-stained, and breaking into the most beautiful smile I’d ever seen.
“Hey,” he said. His voice was shaky. “You’re awake.”
I tried to respond, but my mouth wouldn’t cooperate. The words tangled somewhere between my brain and my tongue, spilling out as nonsense sounds that sent panic spiking through my chest.
“It’s okay.” Michael’s hand found mine. “The surgery went well. Dr. Matthews said you might have some speech issues initially. It’ll get better.”
I tried again. “You—” The word came out slurred. “You’re… here.”
“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”
