School events. Cheer. Late-night talks. Drive-thru runs. Movie nights. I showed up for her the way I always had, but with way more intention because being her mom started to feel like the only place I wasn’t asking for too much.
Nothing really changed between me and Kairo.
I still cooked. Still checked in. Still asked about his day. Still showed up to family events on his arm. Still made sure his clothes were clean and his favorite snacks were stocked. I still fulfilled my wifely duties the way I always had.
He still worked. A lot.
We still had sex on the days he had the energy for it. And on the nights I wanted another round, another touch, or another moment, I’d just turn over and force myself to sleep, telling my body to quiet down because my heart already knew better.
I gave him three full months.
Three months to change.
Three months to notice.
Three months to try without me reminding him, without repeating myself, and without begging.
He did absolutely nothing. And that was my answer.
I wasn’t angry anymore. I was past that. I was just… done starving.
It was Sunday and I was driving to my in-laws’ house for Mamma G’s dinner. If you missed it, you better be sick or dead. And even then, she’d still side-eye the excuse.
Kairo and Kennedi had left an hour before me. I could’ve rode with them, but I made up some excuse about needing to stop somewhere first because I didn’t want to sit next to him in silence pretending everything was fine.
As time went on, just being around him started to irritate me.
The way he breathed.
The way he scrolled on his phone.
The way he asked,“You good?”without really caring about the answer.
I still loved him. I only wanted him. But loving someone doesn’t mean you keep shrinking yourself to fit the space they’re willing to give you.
I gripped the steering wheel tighter as I pulled into the driveway. I woke up that morning tired of giving one hundred percent in a marriage where I kept getting told—without words—that it was too much to ask for the same.
I spotted Niv and Rivah lounging poolside and walked over. Everything inside of me felt… heavy, tired, and starved. I didn’t say a word as I sank into the chair beside them. I was present in body, but not in spirit.
Niv squinted at me, her sunglasses slipping down her nose.
“Uh… what the hell is wrong with you?”
Rivah added, “Yeah. Bringing all that bad ass energy over here.”
I sighed. “The only reason I came was to see y’all,” I said, putting on my shades. “If it wasn’t for y’all, I’d be at home. I’m just… tired. Tired of pretending. Tired of acting like everything with Kairo is fine when it’s not. I feel like I’ve been screaming my needs at a wall and nothing ever changes.”
Rivah didn’t even crack a joke. Her hand slid over my arm, rubbing gently.
“All I want is real time. Just us. Something intimate and consistent. But he’s like a damn machine.”
I looked at them. “I hate his somewhat scheduled sex. Can you believe that shit?”
Their faces mirrored my own disbelief. But it wasn’t even funny anymore. It hurt.
“He lets his career run everything. Everything. Like I don’t have a whole degree and dreams and shit too. I’ve never put my work before him or Kennedi. But with Kairo, work is always first.”
I hesitated. “He said… maybe he’s not enough for me.”
