I couldn’t even defend myself.
She tilted her head slightly. “You let your mind tell you that it made sense.”
“The same emptiness you felt that made you do that?” she continued. “That’s the same emptiness that made her do it.”
Damn.
I never once thought about it like that.
“You weren’t chasing pleasure,” she said. “You were chasing relief. And relief feels logical when you’re hurting.”
I ran a hand down my face.
“I’ve never seen a man love his wife the way you love yours,” she said.
I looked up at her.
“And don’t change that. Don’t let this moment make you pivot.”
“I’m sorry that it was you,” I said.
I meant it. Of all people, I hated that it had to be here in that room when I needed to feel something.
She laughed softly. “Don’t worry about me.” There was no bitterness in her voice.
“I promise what just happened will never leave this room. And it won’t affect my work. I’m not built like that.”
“I’ve accepted something about myself a long time ago,” she continued. “I’m the woman men come to before they figure it out.”
I frowned. “What?”
“I speak life into men,” she said calmly. “I build them up. I show them how to love. I give them the foundation.”
She smiled faintly. “And then they go give it to another woman.”
That made my stomach twist. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s true.”
She shrugged lightly. “I watched my ex-husband become the perfect partner for a woman he met two years after our divorce. Everything I begged for? She got it naturally.”
She looked at me. “I’ve watched you take advice and apply it. I’ve watched you fight for your marriage.”
“And that’s why I don’t feel used. Because you didn’t come here for me. You came here because you were bleeding.”
“Maybe,” she said gently, “God put me here to be the aid. The bridge. The lesson. The quiet space men sit in before they go home and fix what they almost lost or what they really wanted.”
I didn’t know what to say. She reached forward and took my hand.
“Go home,” she whispered. “Go home and make it right with your wife. Please.”
There was no jealousy in her voice, just sincerity.
“You still love her. I can feel it in the way you say her name. And if you don’t fight for that woman, you’re going to regret it forever.”
My eyes burned again. “I don’t want to lose her.”
“Then don’t.”
