“I will. If you promise me that you won’t kill anyone for my sake.”
Donavyn’s brows pinched and his head snapped back. “Bren, I will always protect you. I’d protect any of my men—especially in the field. I can’t give you my word I’d never—”
“I meant revenge,” I said quietly.
He grimaced. “You don’t want me to wish them punished?!”
“Of course I do! I want to see them punished, too! But I don’t ever want to think that there’s something you could want enough—even if it’s for me—that you’d lie to me again. I can’t, Donavyn. I’ve been lied to enough. I’ve been manipulated and deceived and I can’t live with the question in my mind that you might have some hidden plan, just to protect me from it. So, please, give me your word that you will not harm anyone for my sake. That if we find out they aren’t dead, we let the dragons judge them. Or we bring them back to the king.”
Donavyn sat back, rolling his jaw, but his eyes never left mine. I felt him battle, resist the request. And then felt him soften.
“You have my word,” he said slowly, a moment later.
“And tell me you’ll never lie to me again, even if it means telling me bad news, or something you know I don’t want to hear.”
He nodded once. “I’ll tell you. Even if it hurts.”
A small piece of the weight I’d been carrying tipped off my chest. And even though I was still cold inside, some of the warmth returned. A piece of my comfort that could only come from being in his arms. And the snap of that spark.
“I love you,” I whispered.
“I love you too.” Then he opened his arms and looked at me with sheer pleading in his gaze. “Now, please… may I hold you?”
I exhaled heavily, then crawled across the couch to lay on his chest, bury my nose under his jaw, and cling to him.
And even though all was not well. Even though I wasn’t quite myself, some measure of peace returned.
There was nowhere else I wanted to be more than there with him.
And that was enough. For now.
~ DONAVYN ~
The moment she sank into my arms, relief swelled my chest.
Thank God.The wariness in her. The chill. The sense of distance in the bond… It had been terrifying.
But she was back. I could feel her—both in her body, and through the bond—slowly relaxing. Still cool. Still uneasy. She’d had a shock, and struggled to let go of it. I prayed she’d settle back into herself soon, even with the extra stresses she would have to live in for the coming weeks.
At that thought, I actually shuddered. And my sweet mate kissed my throat and squeezed me harder.
We lay there together for some time before I picked her up and carried her to bed. There, we undressed each other, but not with our usual fire that heralded lovemaking. Instead, tonight, it was the need to be close. Skin to skin. To breathe in sync. To sleep in each other’s arms.
Tocling.
Once we were settled under the quilts with her head on my shoulder and her arm slung across my chest, then I could breathe. Then I could sleep.
14. A Different View
~ BREN ~
It was almost the dinner hour. I’d already flown patrol that morning, then immediately come to the Academy building for a Shadowfang class. This one was quiet, mostly thinking and talking, so I practiced pulling my blade from the sheath strapped to my belt, and re-sheathing it quickly as I sat there, but my arm was already weary. And I still had ambush training after the meal. I dreaded it, because I was exhausted. That training was in the fight hall, which meant it would be physical.
My stomach rumbled audibly in the quiet room, audible over the murmuring of other pairs of Shadowfang. Two of the nearby brothers snorted. I ignored them. Given their size, they were probably even hungrier than me.
Sitting across the table, Gil cleared his throat and raised a brow. I muttered an apology, re-sheathed the knife, and made myself focus.
We were working through scenarios in which I had to problem solve on my feet. The faster we got through this, the sooner I could eat.
