His tone drew me up short.
It wasn’t a request.
It was the second time in recent weeks that Kgosi hadinstructedme, used his dominance and power to quell my will. My pride bristled against the constraint. I was not a child to be ordered around, and neither was I without my own authority.
But this was Kgosi.
I knew he felt the battle waging within me, and as was his way, he didn’t attempt to persuade me, only sat back and waited to see how I would respond.
The time has come that we should speak.
This wouldn’t be a discussion on the practicalities of our job, or even unsolicited advice on how to manage my matebond.
My wise, ancient dragon believedheneeded to speak withme.The bond between us had always run deep in my soul, but with the introduction of Bren and Akhane, Kgosi and I had spent little time focusing on each other. Now my dragon called me to account. I’d feared it before I’d been forced to reveal my plan to Bren—and then worried he’d berate me once I did. But he’d remained mostly quiet on the point, knowing I’d abandoned the plan since the men were already removed. Nerves chittered in my chest, though I couldn’t have said why. I knew Kgosi would never abandon me. Was it only his disapproval I feared?
I shook my head, but it was little more than disappointment in myself.‘Now?’I asked.
‘Yes. Meet me in the launch hollow.’
It had been many years since I’d walked a hall with that pit in my stomach, heading towards a meeting with a superior inwhich I knew they’d assert their authority, and I would have to accept it. But it was that same sense weighing in my chest as I marched out of my office and down the hall, to meet my dragon outside.
36. Give Up
~ DONAVYN ~
Half an hour later, Kgosi and I soared a mile above the forests, in the land surrounding the Keep. Kgosi hadn’t asked me where I’d like to go. But it made no difference. The point was to be alone and speak.
I was surprised he’d stayed virtually silent this long. I’d expected him to lay into me the moment we were alone in the air.
But we both loved to fly—especially together. And for some time, my dragon lazily flapped, riding the air currents, taking us slowly south and west. When he did finally speak, there was a burst of adrenaline in my chest.
‘I have waited, Donavyn. Expected you to see your error, and come to me. But you haven’t. And now your anger unleashed towards your mate. Soon, we embark on a deceptive and dangerous mission. One which I support for the sake ofthe kingdom. But if this is the heart you bring to it, I foresee disaster, Donavyn. You are not grounded.’
I frowned.‘I’m notungrounded.I’m angry. And rightfully so. Those men stole from her and—’
‘And they will be punished—if they have not been already. The righteous right hand of the Creator will reveal their sins. Retribution will follow.’
‘I don’t trust Alexi to truly punish that kind of conduct. He’s too lenient when he approves of a man, and he’s always taken personal interest in Ruin.’
‘Alexi is not the Creator, Donavyn. Do you not believe God Himself would enact revenge on those who hurt His daughter?’
‘They’ll be punished, I’m sure. But when, Kgosi? This happenedbeforethey were sent into Draeventhall—who knows what other shit they got up to, or what they’ve done since. As far as we know, they were free andapplaudeduntil recent days. God, in all His sovereignty, left them to continue to hurt her, or others. But she’s been given to me now—don’t tell me God wouldn't have me protect her.’
‘As mate, you protect her where she cannot protect herself. You are the sword at her side. The shadow for her rest. You arenotthe hand of God.’
I grimaced.‘I have never claimed to be God’s hand for—’
‘You claim it the moment you decide that judgment is yours, and yours alone to determine.’
‘She ismymate—and mine alone!’
‘Meanwhile, you have also been provided protection in me—yet you obscured this from me. I will speak plainly, Donavyn: You have no room to speak to your mate of caution when you so blatantly hide motives and deceive even me, who would burn the world for you.’
He let me see it then—a vision in my mind of me, standing on a hill, the wind fluttering my hair, weapons in my hands,facing an army utterly alone. Except forhim.He stood at my back, loomed over me, and roared his defiance to the thousands of men who came for me.
My heart twisted, even as I tried to push the image away.
He’d do it. I knew he would. And he knew I’d give my life to save his.
