His grip is unyielding, not painful but resolute, as if he’s anchoring me to the spot, to this moment. I can see the turmoil rolling like thunderclouds in the depths of his dark gaze, a storm of emotions he’s fighting to control.
"You don’t get it, Shadow. I’m suffocating here. I’m drowning in this skin, in this soft flesh, in this pathetic life. I’d rather risk death in your world than be suffocated by this one. I’d rather die in your world than have you hurt in mine."
He leans in closer, and the intensity in his eyes pins me more effectively than his hands ever could. "You think death will release you?" His voice is a low growl, each word a vibration against my skin. "It’s a cop out. The coward’s way. You are no spineless worm. You are a monster, remember? That’s what you told me."
I laugh, a sharp, biting sound. "I’m nothing. I’m hunted by true monsters. Because ofher." The Nexus. How I fucking hate her, envy her. A renewed sense of purpose swells in me. "Take me to her."
I need someone else connected to this mess. Maybe I won’t hate her if she is just as entrenched by this fucked up situation. Or maybe I’ll hate her more if she’s unaffected by it, protected by Shadow and her own inner strength.
His eyes flicker with an emotion I can't place, something ancient and wild. "I can’t," he says, and it's a plea wrapped ina statement. "To even speak of the key invites danger, drawing attention that could threaten everything."
"You're with her, the Nexus, when you’re not with me. You’d leave me to rot for her." I spit the words out, each syllable laced with venom and hurt. The thought of him with someone else, being someone else's savior, protector, it gnaws at me with vicious teeth.
Shadow's face inches from mine, our breaths mingling, sharing the same stormy air. "Evie, I assure you, my duty to the Nexus is not what you think." There's desperation in his tone, an urgency that sounds like a wild thing caged behind his ribs.
"Do you care for her?" I hiss, the jealousy bubbling up like acid. "The Nexus, your precious charge. Do you care for her like you care for me?" My heart is a drumbeat of desperation, pounding out the rhythm of my deepest fears.
Shadow looks at me then, really looks at me, and it’s like he’s seeing right through to the core of me.
His response is immediate, intense. "Yes," he says, and it cuts deeper than any knife.
A sob catches in my throat, and I'm a tangle of hurt and anger and an aching need that I can't seem to quench. "Then go," I hiss, the words a lash. "Go back toher."
"I cannot leave you," he says, and there's a truth in his voice that I want to ignore. "You drive me to madness, Evie, in ways I cannot explain. You pull me back even as you push me away."
The tension between us is a live wire, sparking with anger, need, and an undeniable connection that neither of us can sever. It’s a dance we've done before, one that always ends with our bodies entwined, with whispered names and broken moans. That or bloodshed.
"I hate you."
Whatever crackles in the air reaches a charge too high, and we smash into each other.
I’m kissing him fiercely, grabbing onto his monstrous form, running my hands over muscles no human develops.
His claws tangle in my hair, jerking my face back as he pushes his tongue into my mouth, filling me, teasing me in ways I want to be tortured elsewhere.
Emboldened, desperate and more than a little broken, I reach down into the darkness where his legs meet. My fingers touch something hard and bulbous. I vaguely associate it with what I once stroked my tongue along, with the punishing organ that nearly split me in the park. My hand can’t even close all the way around it.
A growl emanates through my tongue and teeth, pushing the vibrations into my chest.
I’m playing with fire, but this is how I want to go. Burned to death by my Shadow.
"Evie." My name rolls out on a tortured moan.
"I want you inside me. I want to make you mine. I want you to think of no one else but me," I demand.
I don’t remember lying down, but I feel my back hit a surface. My stomach drops the wrong way, and my hair falls forward. When I open my eyes, I find myself looking down on my bed. Shadow has me pinned against the ceiling. My bed is below us, and my room somehow looks smaller from up here. I suddenly feel detached from my life, as if it’s a movie I watch from up here.
It’s a drama, a tragedy, meant to make the viewers feel something worse than their own shitty life. So when they go back to their day to day, they feel a sense of buoyancy after spending a little while in mine.
Maybe my existence isn’t so pointless.
The maudlin, muddled thoughts in my head disappear when Shadow’s tongue laves its way up my throat, leaving goosebumps in its wake. And I forget myself all together when his hardness bucks up between my thighs. I gasp and claw at hisshoulders. He bucks up again and the friction of his hardness where I need it most is mind melting.
"I want you. I need you," I whisper, before I lower my head and sink my teeth into the skin of his corded neck.
Something vibrates in his chest, and it resonates through my breasts where we’re pressed against each other.
"I want to stop," he mutters, even as his shadowy tendrils tighten around me. In moments, he strips me of my clothes. I watch them drop down onto the bed.
