"Evie," he says, and it comes out low and breathless. How does he put so much emotion in saying my simple name? It’s all packed in that one word—his hesitance, his concern, the dark viciousness that underlies his entire being.
I know he’s aware of how close we are. I’m certain he knows how fast my heart races under my heaving chest. I’m shaking so hard, if he held me any tighter, I’d break.
"Take me to your realm, Shadow," I plead with him. "Please." I hear the tears crowding their way into my voice.
"I can’t," he says with a renewed firmness that gives me pause. "You would die within thirty-six hours."
Thirty-Six Hours
The way he says it stops me cold.
What?
I’m not sure if I asked it out loud or not, but he goes on.
"The atmosphere in my world is toxic to you, to humans. You would last for maybe a day, two at most, but eventually you would die."
With that, the hope I've been clinging onto since I was four years old disintegrates into dust. Some part of me always imagined that one day he would take me with him. When I was old enough, when the time was right, when I found a way.
"Why didn’t you tell me?" The question comes out a ragged whisper.
If he had told me sooner, I wouldn’t have harbored this intense hope. I wouldn’t have watered it like a precious seedling in my darkest hours, one day thinking he would take me with him. But then again, would I have survived certain parts of my life without that delicate onyx flower I grew inside my chest?
"The less you know, the better." With that, he puts space between us as if he needs to recollect himself. "You aren’t meant to know about my world. You aren’t meant to knowIexist. Andnow you have these desires because you know too much. But I can’t give you what you want, Evie."
I have to bite off what I want to say about his ability to fulfill my desires.
"You're right, it’s too late. I know too much and the more you hide from me, the more it hurts," I accuse.
"I don’t want to hurt you," he bellows.
"Then tell me!" I shout back. I don’t know what I’m asking for. I just want… more.
"The atmosphere here is toxic to my kind as well." For once, he keeps talking. He gives me more. "I cannot be in your realm for too long orIwill die."
That stuns me.
"Coming here… hurts you?"
He doesn’t answer.
Oh, ohGod.
"Is it killing you?" My voice breaks.
"Evie," he sighs. "I will live a long life, much longer than yours. The years this may slice off my existence are inconsequential. But your life, your life is short and precious and Iwill nottake you to my world. Iwill notendanger you, no matter how you beg."
"Oh my God." I turn away from him, covering my face with my hands though it doesn’t hide the truth.
Yet another person I’m hurting. Yet another thing I am ruining. I am a never-ending curse.
Shadow whips me around forcefully, causing my teeth to clack hard against each other. "Evie, stop it. Stop what you’re thinking."
"I can’t," I grind out through clenched teeth. "I’m literally killing you."
Thunder rolls overhead, shaking the walls. Then it builds until it’s booming through the room. I’m shocked to find, for the first time ever, I am hearing Shadow laugh.
His grip on my wrists is unyielding, yet there's a tremble in his touch that betrays his turmoil. "You think I enjoy this? That I relish in your pain? That you deserve any fault in this?" he growls, and there's a heat in his voice that wasn't there before. His eyes, usually an abyss, now burn with a fire that seems to reach out and singe the very air between us.
