I looked back at Harris, his eyes already searching my face for something. An acceptance of his apology? It made me sad to think of the time we’d lost, but now, I wondered if there just wasn’t any other option. I didn’t know everything about his father or grandfather, but I’d heard rumors. I’d seen bruises on Harris that he refused to talk about. I’d see the haunted look in his eyes from time to time.
I still remembered the one time, when we were fourteen, he climbed up to my window, surprising me one random evening. He just lay his head in my lap and asked me to stroke his hair. Hedidn’t say what was wrong. Didn’t cry. Didn’t really speak. And I just did as he asked until we both fell asleep. When I woke up, he was gone. I remembered how my heart broke for him. I knew his life was tough. I knew I was an escape, and I was glad to be that for him. Always.
“You thought pushing me away would protect me?”
He gave me a sad smile that nearly split my heart. “Yeah. Having people close to you makes you vulnerable. I saw that my whole life. Hell, look at what just happened. My dad and grandfather could be cruel, but it was because, in some small part, they were fearful. Sometimes, going overboard and being overly controlling was their way of stopping the fear. That affected me. They had a right to be scared and paranoid. Especially about the safety of those they loved. I hated how they moved, but in retrospect, a part of me grew to understand it. Something happened that wouldn’t let me pretend that life could be normal for me.”
He lost his smile, leaning back in his chair, and I was slightly sad that he’d moved away, although I could still feel our connection as our legs touched. I felt more comforted by that than I should have. “A couple of weeks before our argument, I got a call from someone we couldn’t trace, and they threatened to hurt you. They thought you were my girlfriend.”
I frowned, running back that time in my head. I had no clue. “That would be when I had gone overseas for vacation with the ex. It was a last-minute thing that my parents surprised us with.”
“Yes, I paid for you and that asshole to go away while we…neutralized the threat. It was then that I knew I couldn’t keep you around. If some random thug could see how important you were to me, then stronger enemies could too. I couldn’t risk it. You had to get away from me. I didn’t want to lose you, but I couldn’t be selfish. And you were already moving to New York anyway to work and be with that asshole.”
“I’m not going to push it, but the asshole has a name.”
He gave me dead eyes, lifting a shoulder. He really hated that guy. Maybe more than me. I was a little delighted by that. “The point is, it was better you were with him than being on your own and ever coming back in my life. Our distance over these several years possibly saved you. And I would do it again. No matter how much it hurt me. Coming here and having whatever just happened proved that I wasn’t wrong. So, this is not an apology as you deserve, but I am sorry that it had to be that way.” He leaned forward and picked up my hands, which were resting on my lap, and gave them a gentle squeeze. “Can we move past this?”
I blew out a breath, releasing fifteen years’ worth of anger. I didn’t necessarily agree with how he did things, but I couldn’t say I didn’t understand. He’d gone through great lengths to keep me safe, and I never knew. And I did find some solace that he had hurt losing me. Just as I hurt losing him. I nodded and squeezed his large hands back. “Yes, but why reconnect now?”
He lowered his head and kissed the back of each hand, and I might have disassociated for a millisecond from the feel of his soft lips on my skin. He was treating me so gently, as he normally had, but there was a tenderness now that felt different. Something had shifted. I’d always felt protected by him, but his attention to me now felt like I really was someone precious to him.
“I was always coming back for you. I let you walk away for a little while, but I knew at some point, I would make my life better and safer for you. Not run things the way my elders did. I’m so close now, and for you to show up as you did, it was fate.”
I scrunched my eyes in confusion. It felt mildly like he was professing something. “You make it sound like I was yours to put on hold.”
He gave me a devilish grin. “I’m glad you understand.”
No, I didn’t. What was happening? I opened my mouth for more questions because my mind was swimming right now; however, I heard the buzzing of a phone that wasn’t mine.
He growled, and my core tightened at the sound. He dug his phone out of his pocket and looked at it. “I’ve got to work with my people to figure out what just happened to us. I’m not leaving here until a guard comes but I need to step outside to talk. Don’t go anywhere.” He stood up and kissed my forehead, before turning and leaving me breathless.
When I heard my front door close, I slouched down in my seat, overwhelmed. “What is happening right now? Who does he think he is? What am I-”
Searing pain once again stabbed through me, darkening my vision. It felt like every bone in my body was breaking, and my head throbbed against an invisible vice. I fell forward on the hardwood floor, screaming in agony, as I rolled side to side. I felt like the life was draining out of me.
I couldn’t breathe.
I was dying.
Chapter Three
Harris
I’d like to think I had a good ability to tolerate pain, but everyone had their limits. I’d never felt anything like this before. It blinded me. I hunched over, clutching at my stomach, groaning amidst the excruciating pressure.
“Boss?” Paulo called through the phone.
I gripped my phone so tightly I thought I would crack it as I stumbled to the side. “Call Kaylor and get her teleported here now,” I ordered through clenched teeth.
I turned back to the door of Camilla’s cottage, hearing her cries. I banged on it, knowing it was unlikely that she’d be able to make it to the door. If what was happening to me was happening to her, she’d be damn near immobile. I was stronger. Everyagonizing cry from her focused me through my own pain. I had to get to her.
I slammed my body against the door, over and over again. Each time my arm hit the door, I thought I might die from the explosion of intensified ache. But not before I got to her.
When the door finally gave in, I stumbled my way to Camilla, who I found writhing in pain on the floor. I dropped to my knees and cradled her in my arms, feeling helpless as she struggled against me. I didn’t know how to stop our pain or where it even came from. I just knew that we were dying right when we reconnected. It was the worst kind of misfortune, and for all my sins, the best kind of karma for my enemies. I hugged her tighter to me, my eyes fluttering from the pain. We couldn’t go on much longer like this.
I ran a shaky hand over her braids as she whined in my arms, her body sweating. We both were drenched. “It’s okay, baby. Help is on the way.”
She tightened her grip on my shirt, and then the world shifted. The pain subsided, and my vision cleared. Her cries became dull whimpers. I stilled my body and took mental inventory as that previous, seemingly life-ending, ache disappeared. My body felt heavy and weak, but there was no more pain, just the ghost of a dull discomfort.
