“I don’t live here,” I said again. “I asked Neil to let me talk to you before he called the police, but if you stay, he’ll be calling them.”
“Cops don’t scare me,” she muttered, but she looked over her shoulder, her hand dipping into the pocket of her stained sweatpants. Whatever she had in her pocket, she didn’t want to be caught with it.
“Can you really afford to take the chance, Mom? Aren’t you still on parole?” I knew she was. She’d done another short stint in jail not long before.
“Always thought you were better than me. Whenever I got clean, I did it for you, so you could be with me, but you were never grateful. You always wore that look, just like you’re wearing now, looking down on me.”
The child in me had learned it wouldn’t last. Waiting for life to fall apart was worse than when the signs she was using againappeared. Even then, I had to wait for the DCF visits to go badly before I was placed back with the Millers.
I wasn’t that child anymore, dependent on others to escape. “I’m not giving you money, and I’m not staying here. Once I go, if you’re still here, Neil will call the police.”
“Would it hurt you so much to help your mom out? Look at you. You’re doing more than fine. Got the fancy car and the fancy job and more than one man to take care of you. What do I have?”
I stared at the woman I understood far too well and offered what I had a couple of weeks before, even though I knew what her response would be. “I can take you somewhere to work on getting clean. Say yes, and I’ll pay for that, but the money will go directly to them, not to you.”
She shook her head. “That’d be a waste. We both know it.”
“This time might be different, if you want it to be,” I said softly.
She hesitated. “Where you at now, if it’s not here? In case I change my mind and want to try.”
I shook my head. “I’m not telling you that.”
Her eyes narrowed. “Think you can hide from me, girl? We’re family.”
“We haven’t been that for a while.”
She shifted her feet, which were barefoot. Once I would have worried about that. Not anymore. If she’d chosen to spend what money she had on the drugs in her pocket and not shoes on her feet, there was nothing I could do about it.
“How am I supposed to get out of here? I don’t even have enough for a bus ticket. Can’t you give your mom just a little? It’s money well spent if it gets me gone, isn’t it?” Her voice had slid into that needling whine, the one that usually haunted my mind long after she was gone.
I felt it slide away this time. “You managed to get here twice. I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”
She studied my eyes. Whatever she saw there hardened her own. “Fucking bitch,” she muttered. She took a step toward me, and Jack moved between us. She eyed him, then turned away.
Jack remained at my side while we watched until she was out of sight. “You okay?” he asked.
I leaned my head on his shoulder, which felt solid, steady. “Yeah. I’m okay.”
He placed a soft kiss on top of my head. “It had to be hard, but you handled that well. Don’t think you didn’t.”
The stone of guilt pressing on my chest felt lighter. “Thanks for being here.”
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me!”
My body stiffened at the sound of Neil’s voice. I lifted my head away from Jack, finding the front door open and Neil stomping toward us.
“You brought him?” Neil asked.
His tone sent a chill down my spine. It was so similar to how my mom had sounded. I took a breath. “Sorry about my mom. I made it clear I don’t live here anymore, so she shouldn’t show up again. If she does, you can call the police.”
“What?” Neil’s glare turned into a frown. “No, you’ve got to handle her. She’s your mom.”
The pressure was back in my chest. “I don’t think she’ll come back here.”
“She better not.” He glanced nervously around, as if my mother could still be hovering. “Did you at least pay her this time? That always kept her away longer.”
“I—” My eyes dropped to my feet, my shoulders hunching.
