I moved over to the couch, settling on my end and turning to face him. He looked way too chipper for someone with a hangover.
“The hookup last night was harsh, but one thing she said I’d heard from two of the others as well. You remember Natasha?”
I nodded. I still occasionally glanced at the texts she’d sent. There was something soothing about reading someone else saying they understand my complaints about my sex life.
“She told me straight out I needed to learn how to do oral.” His face flooded with color again. “With a couple of the others outright asking for it, I’m starting to feel like I really do need to learn.”
My hands felt clammy. “Are you asking to go down on me as practice?” My stomach lurched. Oral sex. The thing I’d been asking him to do for a while now, my top fantasy, and I didn’t want it anymore. Not like this. He’d be doing it only to learn for other women.
“What? No, I don’t want to—” His flush deepened, and he looked away from me. “I mean, that would be the blind leading the blind again, don’t you think?”
My breath rasped in my chest. “What then? What are you wanting?”
He turned back to face me, licking his lips nervously. “I want to watch someone else go down on you.”
My mind went blank. I couldn’t process it. He wanted to watch someone else have sex with me? I wouldn’t want that. I didn’t like picturing him with other people at all.
“It’s not as weird as it sounds.” Neil spoke faster now. “Some guys are really into being with someone while their husband or boyfriend watch. They call it cuckolding.”
My chest ached, and I felt lightheaded. Was I not breathing? I sucked in air, the pull of it too loud in my ears.
“It’d solve your problem, too,” Neil said. “You said you were nervous. Having me there would make you feel safer, wouldn’t it?”
I shook my head, more trying to wrap my head around it than in denial.
His jaw tightened. “I need you to be with someone else, Hailey. And this way, he can teach me how to do oral, too.”
“This is too much.”
He shifted closer. “It’s not a big deal. I’ve always wanted to see what you looked like when you orgasmed. After this, maybe I’ll be able to put that expression there, too. I promise to learn everything I can.”
I still wasn’t sure about the idea. Which was ridiculous. Hadn’t I admitted to Jack and Sean that I wanted someone to go down on me? Sean had even offered.
My mind snagged on the idea. Sean said he’d do it. What if I took him up on the offer? Would he hate the idea of Neil being there? “Let me ask him,” I mumbled.
“Ask who? Wait, you’re not talking about that bartender, are you?” Neil’s eyes narrowed on me.
“Jack?” I asked, startled by the idea. Saying his name caused tingles to chase over my arms.
“You can’t do that. You can’t have sex with someone we know,” Neil said, his voice hard.
“What?” My eyes snapped to his.
“That was one of our rules, wasn’t it? Hookups only. If we do something sexual with someone we know, it’ll make things awkward.”
We’d been talking about our friend circle. People we both knew and would encounter again. Jack and Sean hadn’t been my friends then.
“I mean, if you want to sleep with him, I guess you can, but then you’d have to stop going back to that bar.” Neil shrugged. “But I don’t think he’d want me there. That man doesn’t like me.”
I stared down at my hands. Even Sean was probably pretty pissed at him for the night before, if he hadn’t disliked him already.
“No, let me find someone for us. I’ll handle everything this time, Hails.” He smiled at me. “All you’ll have to do is meet them with me, and then you can experience something you’ve beenasking for.” His hand reached out for mine, squeezing it. “Say yes.”
I stared down at where our hands touched. “Okay,” I said, my voice shaking a little, but he was right. This was something I’d been dreaming about for a long time. The dream had just always been with Neil alone.
Chapter 11
The Sixth Friday
