I nodded, not looking back at Jack as I led the way out of the bar. The music pulsed into the parking lot, making my head pound as hard as my heart. I had come early enough where I could snag a close space. Sean dragged a slumped Neil after me.
“We could pour him into a rideshare instead. Or better yet, dump him back by the dumpster,” Sean muttered.
“No, I’ve got him.” I took a deep breath, then pulled open the door to my back seat. My eyes lifted to meet Sean’s. “I’m his girlfriend. He’s my responsibility.”
Sean grunted as he maneuvered Neil to sprawl across the back seat. After he stepped back, I was careful to check for any of Neil’s dangling limbs before I closed the door.
“Thanks, Sean.”
“Don’t thank me for this. If I’d realized the state he was in a little quicker, I would have pushed him right back into his rideshare.” He rubbed a hand over his beard. “You sure you’re going to be okay to get him into your place on your own? I could follow you and help.”
I shook my head. “You need to stay here. That’s your job.”
“I have an in with the owner, and he already said it’d be fine.”
I tried to smile, but my lips trembled too much for that. My eyes still burned with the threat of tears.
“Hey, come here.” Sean pulled me into a hug, and I let myself have that moment, my face pressed against his warm chest as his strong arms circled around me. “You’ve got our numbers. If you need help, call.” He pulled away, gripping my shoulders as he looked at me. “Once you stop being so stubborn, call us.”
I shook my head, wiping at my cheek. The heel of my palm came away damp. “I’m not being stubborn. I’m just embarrassed.” And if Neil kept talking, it’d only get worse.
“None of that. You have nothing to be embarrassed about.” He squeezed my shoulders before releasing me. “You’ve got friends, Hailey. You don’t have to do this alone.”
“I can handle it.” I shifted toward the car, opening the door. I didn’t look back as I climbed in and shut it behind me.
“I don’t feel so good, Hails,” Neil whined.
“I’ll get you home soon,” I promised, turning the key. Sean stepped to the side, and I pulled out of the space, turning the car toward the road.
Sean was wrong. I always had to handle this type of thing alone. Not drunkenness. That was unusual for Neil. But my foster parents had needed a lot of caregiving. Their health had been a concern for years, so I took care of things even before that last year with them, if I were being honest.
Neil had made himself scarce the final year I was with them. He’d said he felt useless, not knowing how to help, and that the best gift he could think to give me was more time with them. I was glad not to worry about him so I could focus on them. They were the ones who had first reached out a hand to a scared, lonely little girl, even before Neil had done the same.
I could never repay that debt.
But there had been moments when I’d felt so alone, even while they were still alive. It reminded me of the times my biological parents had left me alone as a child or been so high that I would have been better off alone. It had started when I was much too young to fend for myself, and I’d been scared that one day, I’d remain all alone.
I drove us home more slowly than usual since my eyes still burned. There was an extra glare to the streetlights. I was relieved to pull into the driveway, waiting for the garage to lift before parking inside. I turned the car off, breathing deeply as I waited for the garage to close again, still able to hear Neil’s sniffling over the sound.
After climbing out, I opened the back door, leaning in to rub his back. “Let’s get you inside.”
His arms shook as he crawled out backward, almost clipping me with his elbow when I tried to help.
“I’m fine,” he slurred as he straightened, wobbling on his feet.
I didn’t argue, just pulled him back enough to close the car door and helped him inside. We made it to the couch, which was large, white, and easy for him to sink into. He leaned his head against the thick cushions and stared at the ceiling.
“I’ll get you some water,” I said, moving past the dining room table where we’d discussed the hall pass idea weeks ago and making my way to the wooden cupboard near the sink. After grabbing a glass, I filled it with the filtered water that came from the fridge. The refrigerator was sleek stainless steel, like all the appliances I’d upgraded a couple of years ago.
Neil let out a low moan, and I nearly spilled the water as I rushed back to his side.
“Feeling sick? Here, sit up a little more.” I sat on the couch, helping to pull his head up straighter so he could drink the water.
How often had we sat on this same couch and watched shows together? I was closer to him now than I ever was during those quiet moments. When had snuggling together become claiming opposite ends of the couch?
“Enough,” Neil said, pushing my hand with the glass away. His head dropped to rest in his hands.
I shifted forward, setting the water on the coffee table. I should get him some Tylenol.
