My finger hovers over the send button. Gods, I wish I were braver. Wouldn’t it be more daring to say those words to Soter’s face?
I walk through Mictlan,holding onto whatever remaining dignity I have. How dare she? I left Leigh by the river to clear my head. She doesn’t have to marry me, but I’m not leaving her here. I need a moment to gather my thoughts before I face her again. She’s upset about the whole situation. Hell, I am, too. I just don’t take it out on her like she does on me. If she meant to hurt me, she damn well succeeded.
I know Leigh is trying to protect me; she doesn’t have a malicious bone in her body. But it’s not her responsibility to fix everything at the expense of her own well-being. When will she realize that?
You are a Blade, and I am the queen. You stick to what you excel at, and I will do the same.
Her words sting. I served as Blade Commander longer than I needed to. I claimed it was for her, but really, it was for me. Soter was ready a year ago. Why did I hang on? Because I wanted to. The command, the purpose, and the excitement that came with closing a case. Am I just like my parents—cold and power hungry? I gave everything up for Leigh, but if it was the right thing to do, then why does it still feel like I lost a piece of myself? The piece that made me who I am. Leigh fell for me as a Blade; she knew what that meant and chose me anyway.
Despite my limbs feeling heavy as lead, I turn around, wanting to confront her and face our fears. We need to clear the air between us and make one last effort to find Fynn. We cannot give up on ourselves or each other in this world. It will break us if we let it. My body is already fighting the effects this land has on the living. I feel like a living corpse, and I know Leigh can see what I’m feeling. I love her for trying to help me, but she doesn’t need to sacrifice herself or our relationship to do it.
“You’re going the wrong way,” a voice calls behind me.
Selene emerges from the mist, purple hair and rain-slicked shadows materializing with her. I keep walking. I’m not dealing with her right now.
She hurries beside me, water running down her jeans and spectral face. Her grip on my arm is as cold as plunging into winter. I jerk away.
“Did you hear me?”
“I did.”
“So why aren’t you going home?” she presses.
“You know why.”
“You won’t find her there.” Her smile is glass, cracked and sharp.
I stop. “Where is she?”
“Kosac has her. She’s his now.”
Her words stab deep. “What is that supposed to mean?”
“She sold her soul for Aradia’s freedom,” Selene responds, satisfaction coloring her words, while dread crushes my insides into dust. She’s lying. Leigh would never… but who am I kidding? Of course, she would. “She’ll be Kosac’s prisoner for eternity. You should have listened to me. There’s nothing left for you here. And if you don’t leave, you’ll be stuck here, too.”
Rain pours down my face, sticking hair to my skin. Selene’s delight in this misery only deepens my dread. “Did you do this?”
Everything clicks. The voice in the cell. The smile. She pretended to be ambivalent about the dangers of this world, but that’s because she’s been working with Kosac all along.
“Why Selene?” I ask.
“I did what I had to—always have,” she says, chin high. “I survived.”
“Survived?” My voice is acidic. “You’re dead, Selene.”
She throws her arms wide, laughing bitterly. “Exactly. Just when I found a family with Pallas and Chiron, my life was taken from me. Leigh’s cowardice got mekilled, and now I’m trapped here. Pardon me for trying to make my afterlife bearable! Leigh… meeting her was my undoing, but now, she is my ticket to making the most of this misery.”
“Leigh isn’t a coward. She’s always been brave,” I reply. If she traded her soul, there must be a way to get it back. We can’t give up. Selene can help me.
She blinks. “Leigh hid her powers and cowered behind her family’s name when she could have changed things for Lunar Witches. She’s a terrible person.”
“You’re wrong.” My voice cuts through the storm. “She closed the asylums and turned them into centers for rehabilitation.” Selene’s silence suggests she hasn’t been paying attention to the living since her death. Leigh has made the world a better place. She’s made significant strides toward peace. We’ve both come a long way from the day we met Selene. “When you met her, she was in denial, just like you are now. But she changed.”
“I am not in denial. Leigh is why I’m dead. That’s a fact.”
“You’re blaming the wrong person,” I spit. “Don Raelynkilled you.Eosput you here.”
She stiffens, but her expression stays tight. Selene’s mistaken about Leigh and holding on to her remaining resolve.
