Jaxson steps toward me with his hands in his pockets. “You’re right.”
I exhale. I knew we’d get past this. We always do. “Good.”
He stops before me. “It’s why I can’t stay,” he whispers, pulling a bundle of herbs from his hoodie pocket. “I went back to that Lunar witch’s shop and paid her for this after you didn’t get to make one at your mom’s house.”
I take the protection charm with trembling fingers. “If there’s only one. Why are you giving it to me?”
Regret fills his gaze. “I’m leaving.”
“Huh?” I squeak. It’s what Iasked for, but I hadn’t expected him to leave so soon. Panic starts to bubble up in my chest. Did he get called into work?
“I heard what you said, and you’re right. I need to start living my life and not be afraid to start over, even if that’s without you. I accepted the invitation to compete in the Domna Trials in Glaucus. The competition begins tomorrow. I’m on the last train out tonight.”
I take quick, shallow breaths. “When will I see you again?” My voice sounds pathetic even to my own ears. I told him to go, to put himself first, and it’s what he deserves. It’s what I wanted. So why is my soul tearing apart?
Jax shrugs, and I notice a backpack in the crypt’s corner.Fuck. Is this it?
I force a watery smile. “I’ll miss you.”
“Not as much as I’ll miss you.”
A sob tears from my throat, raw and aching, and Jaxson folds me into his arms.
I bury my face in his chest, breathing in his citrus scent, clinging to him like I could fuse our bodies forever, and it’s exactly like the night he broke up with me. He held me then as I cried too and told me it had to be that way to protect Wilder.
More tears fall, hot against my cheeks, and he shushes me, his hand rubbing soothing circles on my back. “It’s going to be okay, sunshine.”
“Will it?” I ask against his shirt. Once again, Wilder is gone, and no one is here to help me survive the loss of Jaxson a second time.
“You could come with me,” Jaxson whispers. His breath is warm against my ear.
I pry myself away to peer into his eyes. Is he serious?
“I know you have the vampires, but what if you left all that behind and started over with me? Maybe in another city, we can make it work . . .”
I push away from him. “Move with you to Glaucus?”
Jax nods.
“But Balam . . .” My gaze shifts over the black candles at my feet.
If I don’t go through with this ritual, we may never uncover who wants Vyvyan dead. If I leave, I may never be able to patch things up with Misty. She’s angry now, but that anger hides her hurt. She was my friend. Don’t I owe her an explanation? Maybe this time, she’ll listen.
“I c-can’t,” I say.
Jaxson’s smile drops. He extracts the spell from his other pocket. “Then you’ll also need this.”
I take the folded paper as if it were Jaxson’s breaking heart.
“Take care of yourself, Desi.” Jax’s lips press against mine in a final goodbye.
The kiss tastes of a past tinged with regret and youthful longings—a heart I thought I’d outgrown. It ends before I can succumb to the urge to pull him closer, to cling, to rewind.
Jaxson turns away, grabs his bag with a practiced hand, and ascends the stairs without a backward glance. Each step is a nail hammered into the coffin of my foolish hopes.
To keep myself from chasing after him, I dig my heels into the worn stone at my feet. I remind myself, fiercely, that Iwillsee him again. This isn’t over. Our story isn’t finished, not by a long shot.
The silence that engulfs me is suffocating, a stark reminder of my solitude. I have no one to turn to, and there is no safety net to catch me if this plan unravels. If everything goes sideways, I’ll be left with nothing—no friends, no boyfriend, no job, no home. I can’t keep relying on Wilder’s generosity, leeching offhis kindness like a parasite. Eventually, he’ll tire of my constant need and cast me aside like everyone else.
