It might be the beginning of something I’ll treasure. Maybe when this ends—because it will—I’ll wish I’d done something different. But right now, I can’t bring myself to regret anything.
Tomorrow, I’ll remember the reasons why this is a terrible idea.
But tonight, I can’t be bothered by it.
10
LOUIS
For the first time in years, I wake up before my alarm without feeling existential dread. I focus on the golden strands of sunlight pouring through the crack in the curtains, and instead of getting up to close them, I replay last night.
I slowly unbuttoned Addison’s cream dress, and as I touched her, she arched into me. My greedy girl needed to come undone, and while I wanted to give her everything, I couldn’t go through with it.
I place my feet on the floor and stretch before moving into the shower. The water runs hot over me. I stand with my eyes closed, and my thoughts fill with her. I remember how she looked up at me from my couch with soaked panties. How her hips lifted toward me like she couldn’t help herself.
Before I can think about anything else, I’m hard. My cock throbs with anticipation.
I try to redirect my thoughts to trade negotiations, agricultural yields, and the land dispute meeting I have this afternoon, but my mind keeps dragging me back to the warmth of her skin. Fuck, I can almost hear the soft sounds she made when I touched her.
My hand wraps around myself. I stroke slowly while trying to maintain some semblance of control, but I fail. I imagine her eyes, hazy and fixed on my face, like I was the only man in the world who existed.
My grip tightens, and my pace quickens, and I realize I’m no longer in control. That should terrify me, but all I can think about is what itwould feel like to be inside her, to have her broken gasps turn into my name.
I brace my free hand against the wall because my knees are threatening to give out. The water pounds against my back, and steam fills my lungs as I stroke faster now, chasing relief.
I think about her face when she told me she was choosing the adventure anyway, like I’m worth the risk. No one has ever looked at me like that and decided the real me was enough.
The orgasm rips through me without warning, and I bite down on my lip to keep from groaning her name. My body shudders as wave after wave rolls through me. It’s violent, more intense than I expected. I stand there, shaking, with water streaming over me and my hand still wrapped around myself, completely wrecked.
“Fuck,” I whisper, leaning my head against the wall.
What the hell is happening to me?
I’ve spent my best years keeping women at arm’s length. I’ve perfected the art of charming them without connecting, giving everyone else enough to be satisfied without ever letting them in. It’s safer and easier because the Crown demands a queen, not a love story. But one night with Addison, and I’m spiraling.
I turn off the water and grab a towel, drying off while I stare at my reflection in the fogged-up mirror. The man looking back at me is more exposed, like something has cracked open. I should be worried and create distance to protect us both from what will happen. Instead, I’m calculating how many hours I have until I see her again.
The palace is quiet as I make my way to my office. A few staff members bow as I pass. I’m earlier than usual and still buzzing from the shower. I’d hoped it would clear my mind, but no luck. My thoughts keep circling back to her, even though I need to focus on the day ahead.
As I pass the chessboard, I realize it’s my turn. I read her note.
I like the real you.
Last night changed something in me, and I don’t know how to put that into words. She’s not the kind of woman who wants poetry or grand declarations.
Finally, I settle on something simple.
You’re on my mind.
I tuck it beneath her queen and stare at the board like it holds answers I can’t find anywhere else. She’ll walk through this corridor on her morning rounds, and she’ll see that I moved a piece. She’ll read my words, and maybe, if I’m lucky, she’ll smile. This is the first time I’ve felt alive in years. I need to get a fucking grip.
I walk away, but my body feels different, lighter and more awake, like I’ve been sleepwalking through my life until now.
The morning drags as I review manufacturing reports and trade negotiations and read over the details of a land dispute between noble families that’s been festering for four generations. I sit at the head of the table and nod in the right places and sign documents where I’m told, but none of it registers as I go through the motions. My secretary keeps glancing at me like he’s waiting for me to say something, and I realize I’ve been smiling, daydreaming about her.
“Is everything all right, Your Highness?”
“Never better,” I tell him, and I oddly mean it.
