The words should scare me. They should send me running to my cottage, onto a plane, back to a life where princes are seen as celebrities, and that’s it. When I look at Louis, I see a man who learns how to cook from YouTube videos, collects postcards, and builds a secret loft to feel normal. Not a trapped royal.
“I want to live in the moment with you, even if it’s temporary.”
He tilts his head. “Addison.”
“I know how this ends.” I shrug. “I’m choosing the adventure anyway. I need to see how it plays out.”
“You’re sacrificing a lot.”
I smile, even though it hurts. “You are too.”
Is it our hearts we’re risking?
He moves close to me and buttons my dress slowly, his fingers lightly brushing my skin with each one. It’s intimate in a different way than before, when we were losing control. I can’t help but yawn, exhausted by the emotions.
When he finishes dressing me, he presses a kiss to my forehead. “I’ll walk you back.”
“You don’t have to.”
“Iwantto.” He pulls his shirt over his head, and I watch the material fall over his muscles. “Our time together always feels so short.”
“Time flies when you’re having fun.”
“Is that what this is?” he asks, opening the door for me and leading me out.
The candles in the corridor have burned low. We walk in silence, and every few steps, his fingers brush against mine. He’s grazing my knuckles, my wrist, the inside of my palm, and it’s a reminder that he’s there.
I’ve eaten men like him for breakfast my entire adult life. After twelve proposals, all rejected without a second thought, I don’t getattached. I don’t get weak in the knees. I don’t lose my head over a pretty face and charming words. But I’m already making excuses for him. Already telling myself this is different, that I’m different, that our situation will somehow be the exception. I’ve watched Kendall do this dance. I’ve watched Patterson do it too. I swore I’d never put myself in this type of situation. One where I could easily get attached and get my heart broken.
His pinkie hooks around mine in the darkness, and I realize I’m doomed. I’m already thinking about the next time I’ll be able to see him again.
Our footsteps echo off stone walls that have seen centuries of royals. I wonder how many princes and princesses have walked through the shadows, knowing they can’t be with their person but were unable to stay apart.
When we step outside, the night air is cool against my hot skin. The moon hangs bright above the gardens, casting everything in silver. Louis stops at the edge of the path that leads to my cottage.
“This is as far as I should go,” he says, glancing around.
His fingers thread through mine properly this time, and he pulls me closer.
Louis cups my face in both hands and kisses me under the moonlight. It’s softer than before, slower, like he’s memorizing the shape of my mouth. When he pulls away, his thumb traces my bottom lip.
“Good night,” he says.
“Good night.”
He releases me and steps away, shoving his hands in his pockets, like he doesn’t trust himself not to reach for me again. I take the path toward my cottage, feeling his eyes on me the whole way. I don’t look back. I can’t force myself to do it.
The cottage door clicks shut behind me, and I lean against it, pressing my palm to my chest.
I basically told Louis he could have me on borrowed time. I hope I’m not setting myself up for heartache.
I slide down the door until I’m sitting on the floor, my dress pooled around me, moonlight streaming through the window. I squeeze my thighs together and replay every moment—the candles, the dinner, his touch between my legs.
My body buzzes, nipples hard, and my panties are wet. With him on my mind, I slide my fingers inside my underwear, feeling the slickness between my legs. My body shudders with anticipation as I work myself to the edge. I wanted him, all of him, in a feral way.
Minutes later, I’m shattering with his name whispering from my lips. I won’t be satisfied until I have him, even if it’s temporary.
This is what sacrifice feels like. It’s not noble or always tragic. It’s a choice made with your eyes open, knowing the cost, but deciding to play anyway.
