“Then the situation is the same as it was before. I keep Ella close and try to get our relationship back to what it was.”
“A fake couple with benefits?”
“Yeah,” I huff, still out of breath. “Until Greenspan and TDC are dealt with.”
“And once it’s over?”
“I’ll figure out how to commit to her fully. It’s what I want, anyway. I just can’t seem to make myself do it while the risks are this high.”
“You know this won’t be the last threat. Our lives will never be free of them.”
I take off my gloves and start removing my headgear. “I know. But this one is bigger than normal—it involves the Russian mafia for Christ’s sake.”
Declan lets out a long sigh. “Then let’s get those fuckers taken care of. You deserve happiness, Ash.”
I nod in agreement as I think back to Ella’s sleeping form, of the ring I slipped on her finger. I hate that any part of me wavers when it comes to our relationship. I want nothing more than her, and I want to make her mine in every conceivable way. I just have to take it one step at a time until I know she’s safe.
The first step is done. The second step will happen when I see her tonight after work.
2
ELLA
Ipry my eyes open, blinking against the dull gray light filtering through the rain-spotted windows of my bedroom. Last night’s storm looks to be over, though the clouds have yet to clear and make room for the sun. But I don’t mind.
I’m in no mood for the sun, anyway.
I rub at my dry, sore eyes, brushing away the salty remains of dried tears and exhaustion. The thunder was so loud, I doubt much of the city slept through that storm. But it wasn’t the sounds or the flashes of lightning that kept me awake—it was my mind and heart that wouldn’t shut up.
A glint of light catches my attention, and I freeze, my hand an inch away from my eyes.
There’s a ring on my finger that definitely wasn’t there when I went to sleep.
I drop my hand and take in the sight. It’s Asher’s ring. Only a part of me is surprised to find it back on my finger. Four days ago, I took it off. Three days ago, I told Asher I needed space. He told me he’d give it to me. But he also told me we weren’tover. I should have known he’d take matters into his own hands. Usually I don’t mind, but today, I don’t know how to feel.
I rub my thumb over the flat top of the ring. AHL. Asher Harrington Langford. The man I’m in love with. There’s no question about it. But what I don’t know, is if I can trust him.
He’s not a cheater, and he’s not a liar. It’s not the usual worries over trust that I’m struggling with. What I worry about with Asher is the vastness of his life. When you’re one of the richest and most powerful men on the planet, you get pulled in a lot of different directions. I’m okay with that. But what I’m not okay with is always taking a backseat to it. If I stay with Asher, will his work always come first? That’s what I don’t know. That’s what I don’t trust in the long-term.
I also don’t know where we stand in general. We got together as a PR stunt to rehabilitate his image, but we turned into more—how much more is still an unknown. Asher isn’t ready for a real relationship, so we’ve been caught in this scary in-between of not quite a real relationship, but no longer a fake one, either. The only thing we’re both sure of is the insane connection we share. We can’t keep our hands off each other, and when we’re together, we’re like fire and gasoline—burning, consuming—out of control.
I love every minute of it. I just don’t know if it’s something that can last forever.
My phone rings, pulling me from my morose thoughts, and I pick it up, grateful for the distraction. But my stomach immediately coils in dread when I see my boss’s name flash across the screen. She’s given me as much time as she can, and it looks like my time has run out.
“Hey,” I croak, my voice raw and ragged.
“How are you?” Emily asks.
I clear my throat. “I’m okay.”
“I’m sure you know why I’m calling. We need to issue a statement.” Her tone is soothing, gentle, and I appreciate it, butnot for the reason she would assume. “Matthew and I are working on it with the team, but we want you to sign off on it before it’s sent out. I’ll send it over once we have a draft.”
“No need to send it, I’ll be in soon.” I trust Emily and Matthew, but this is too sensitive to leave in the hands of others.
“I thought you weren’t coming into the office for a while.”
“That’s what Asher assumed, but this isn’t going to blow over any time soon. This is my life, my story, so I’m not going to sit back.”
