Josh didn’t ask for much. He only wanted me to ease back into the world. Because, according to him, I was secretlyan inspiration to many people. And by ‘people,’ he meant our classmates.
He reminded me of what it was like to be nice and less of a bitch. I never told him, but I was grateful for his resilience and refusal to give up. If persistence were a person, it would be Josh.
Maybe, just maybe, under a different circumstance, I might’ve considered dating him. That was, of course, if he wasn’t already seeing someone. And I wasn’t still holding on to little pieces of my past.
With the way he fought to pull me out of my shell, most girls would’ve fallen for him already. But not me. Josh was a good guy. However, he wasn’t my type. Older. More mature. And, dare I say, recklessly dangerous.
There was nothing about him that made my heart jump in fear or excitement. Nothing that boosted my adrenaline or made my pulse race. In fact, no guy on campus met my strange criteria.
It was at that moment that I knew Adrik had set a record that one could beat. He’d ruined me, marked me as his own, and left a void nobody else could fill. That man set a standard for me that I couldn’t see anyone else meeting, even in the future.
The truth that I was afraid to face was this: With him, I had everything. Power. Influence. Status. And a great sex life—however inconsistent.
Without him, I was safer, more independent, and most importantly, free. However, I was also lonelier and sadder, and I spent most of my nights wondering what he was up to.
I wasn’t proud of it, but I’d jerked off to the memories of our scenes more than a few times. Scratch that. Within the last year, I’d become a chronic masturbator. I touched myself almost every three days just so I could feel a fraction of how he used to make me feel.
But no matter how deep I dipped my fingers or fast I rubbed my palm over my clit, I never felt whole. I never felt satisfied, at least not in the way I craved.
Adrik’s touch, kisses, and strokes still lived rent-free in my mind as a constant reminder of what I was missing.
Regardless of my silent frustrations, I’d built a life on my own terms—just the way I’d always wanted.
After endless nights of study and court internships, I finally bagged my law degree. Mom had already been discharged from the hospital and was back to living her life like nothing had happened.
Three months ago, I summoned the courage to tell her the truth about Richard and the history behind my father’s disappearance. To my surprise, she wasn’t surprised at all.
Mom had explained to me that she saw his death coming because, at some point, he began messing with the wrong people. His gambling problem was an addiction that she told him would land him in trouble.
He’d never listened.
It turned out that by the time the Bratva put him down, he’d already abandoned us and never had any intentions of coming back. The money he borrowed was for himself. Not a dime was spent on us.
Honestly, I couldn’t find it in me to be furious at a dead man. It wasn’t his fault that I let my foolishness come between Adrik and me. But inmydefense, I hadn’t left because he kept the truth from me.
I’d left because I was afraid of falling in love with a monster.
I’d left because I needed a break from the death and destruction of his world.
At least that was what I kept telling myself this whole time, just to feel like a little less of an idiot.
One cool evening, Mom called and asked me to come over. She said she had something important to tell me. Twenty minutes later, I arrived at her place with itchy ears.
“Mom!” I called out, strolling through the door. “I’m here.”
The second I stepped into the living room, I saw something I wasn’t going to unsee. Ever. My Mom and Greg were engrossed in a deep, fervent kiss.
“Whooaahh, my God!” I whipped my head back, shocked at the sight.
They broke apart in an instant, both rising from the couch, unable to meet my gaze.
“Emi, honey…” Mom stuttered. “I wasn’t expecting you so soon.”
“Uhh….” I stood there, frozen in place. “What’s going on?”
“This is awkward,” Greg murmured under his breath, his eyes dropping to the floor. “I thought you already told her,” he whispered to Mom.
“Tell me what?” I chipped in.
