I realized then that if she stayed, I would destroy her. And if she left, I would deserve it.
She stood in the firelight, her dress glowing faintly.
I looked at her then—really looked—at the girl I’d pulled from the ocean in the middle of a storm. The woman who now held her own fate in her hands.
And I knew something I didn’t want to admit. This time, I couldn’t save her. This time, I wasn’t supposed to.
As I turned, her voice stopped me. “Alaric?”
I looked back.
“I’d like to visit,” she said at last. Softer now, but steady. “The crew. The Black Marrow."
My heart stilled. Hope flickered—fragile, trembling—but I didn’t dare reach for it.
“I know a quartermaster who would like that very much.”
43
Nerina
The Black Marrow, Port Ymirskald
“Nerina!”
Garen barreled toward me, grin wide as a sail in full wind. Before I could protest, his arms swept me up and the world spun in a dizzy blur of sea and sky as he lifted me clean off the deck. I laughed—startled, breathless, the sound ripped free before I could stop it.
He set me down, still grinning, hands on my shoulders to make sure I was real. “Gods below, you’re a sight for sore eyes!”
And from the corner of my eye, I saw Alaric watching. Silent. There was no humor in his eyes. Only measuring.
Garen had always been kind to me, even when he didn’t understand what I was. Even when he feared it. His kindness never wavered. Not once.
And for a moment, wrapped in his familiar scent of smoke and iron, I felt like… maybe I belonged somewhere.
I leaned against the railing beside him. The sea stretched endless before us, dark and icy—the kind of sight that always made me feel both small and infinite.
“So,” he said, resting his forearms on the rail, voice low and easy, “what was it like up there, then? In the mountains? Cold as they say?”
A smile slipped. “Cold enough to bite your bones." I hesitated, then let the truth land. “Beautiful, too. There’s something in it that… stays with you.”
He gave a low whistle. “Gods, listen t’ye. Talkin’ like a poet.”
I elbowed him lightly. “I didn’t think I’d like it. But I do. Eira makes it easier. She…” I hesitated, then smiled faintly. “She makes it feel less lonely.”
Garen shot me a sly look, grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Aye, an’ what’d our dear cap’n think o’ that, hm? Snow princess stealin’ his siren away? Man’ll brood himself into an early grave.”
Heat crept to my cheeks. “That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”
“Course I do,” he said with a chuckle. “But don’t tell me it wouldn’t amuse ye', just a little, seein’ him glowerin’ jealous over nothin’. Lad’s half storm cloud already.”
I laughed, shaking my head. “You’re impossible.”
“Aye,” he said cheerfully. “But I’m good company.” His grin softened, turning earnest. “Ye’ve changed a bit since ye’ left. Got somethin’ steadier in yer eyes. Like ye found a piece o’ yerself up there.”
My throat tightened. “Maybe I did.”
He glanced sideways at me, then nodded. “World’ll try t’take enough from ye'—best ye' claim what pieces ye' can.”
