Can I believe him that he doesn’t want to take away who I am? Can that be true? Can I somehow remain intact and give myself over to him at the same time?
Forcing the spiraling thoughts away, I roll to my side, but the bed is empty. I sit up, glancing around the room. He’s not here. I’m about to slip out of bed when I see a note on the nightstand beside me. I unfold it, taking in the strangely neat handwriting.
Morning Gorgeous,
There are tea bags if you want them. Coffee is downstairs in the kitchen. I’m also downstairs. Ican show you the gym and the indoor pool today. If you need something extra like a massage, I can get it scheduled for you. If you’re hungry, let me know and I’ll get breakfast for you.
I hope you slept well. You look like a goddamn angel. A hauntingly dark angel. You belong here in my bed, my home, my life. But I will give you the space you need. Just don’t try to leave again. I can’t bear it.
~S
I read it a second time, the written words unraveling the knot in my chest. At least he can respect some boundaries. I suppose that’s a start.
Climbing out of bed, I stretch my neck back and forth. His bed is nice, luxurious, and I could get used to it. Should I? Is there a way that this thing with him is a temporary blip, and that someday not far from now, I’ll be back in my cold, tiny apartment in a sketch part of town with only the memory of his intensity? Will it burn out once he’s had his fill or does he believe the words he says?
I mean everything I say literally.
His words resurrect in my memory. He must mean it. He may be a lot of complicated things, but I don’t believe a liar is one of them.
I shuffle to the bathroom and start the shower while I brush my teeth even though I took a lovely bath after Specter turned me inside out with his fingers alone last night. My mind won’t allow me to imagine what his dick will feel like. I somehow don’t think my imagination is capable of it anyway.
The heat of the shower melts away some of the remaining tension in my shoulders, and afterward, as I dry my hair, I gazeat my reflection in the steamy mirror. The bruise is almost completely gone now, and I look good. Well rested. The tension in my brow is gone, my skin smooth.
Of course. Just give me more reasons not to resist Specter’s intrusion in my life.
You called me.
Ugh, he’s right.
Back in the bedroom, I dress in a pair of leggings and my favorite oversized sweater. I’ll have some coffee then check out the promised gym. If there’s a ballet barre that would be ideal, but I can work with just about anything. I just need to stretch before my muscles lock up on me.
I walk downstairs, my eyes flitting in every direction as I find my way to the kitchen at the back of the house. It’s quiet. Very quiet. I wonder if anyone is here.
I step into the kitchen, clearly interrupting Shadow and his man, Bellamy, who’s perched on the island with an adoring Shadow standing between his legs. The two of them are so enthralled with each other they haven’t noticed me.
Doing my best to avoid detection, I keep my attention on the coffee bar to the left of where I’m standing, and as quietly as possible pad to it to get some much-needed caffeine.
“Oh, good morning.” Bellamy’s happy voice fills the space. “Cashmere, right?”
I turn and nod, offering a slight smile. “That’s right. Good morning. Sorry if I’m interrupting.”
“You’re not,” Shadow says, even though his tone is so flat I couldn’t begin to decide whether he meant that or not. “Specter is in the rec room if you’re looking for him.”
“Thank you.” I pour my coffee and fiddle with the cream and sugar, aware of both men’s eyes on me.
“You have beautiful hair,” Bellamy says. “I’m jealous.”
I scoff, shaking my head as I lift the steaming liquid to my lips. “You really don’t need to be jealous. You’re stunning.”
“I agree,” Shadow says, brushing his lips along Bellamy’s soft jaw.
Bellamy blushes a bit. “Our boys have good taste, huh?”
Boys? That’s the last word I would use to describe Specter or Shadow, but it is kind of cute.
“They do.” I lift my mug slightly. “Gonna go find him. See you later.”
Bellamy waves happily at me as I take my leave. As I move closer to the rec room, I hear muffled voices, deep and deadly. A shiver runs down my back, and when I lay eyes on Specter, that shiver moves between my legs, igniting a surge of heat. Awesome, all I have to do is look at him now?
