That’s how naïve I was… That no matter how badly he hurt me, I thought there had to be a line he wouldn’t cross.But it was just another manipulation.
“You played on my weaknesses,” I sniff, using every ounce of strength I have to keep from falling apart while thinking about how badly I failed my mother. “And the second you sensed mepulling away again, you hit me where you knew it would cripple me…”
“No…” He chokes, bending at the waist, eyes stuck on my finger on the trigger.
“Yes. But you fucked up, Manuel. Because Tammy’s death woke me up… I only wish—” My voice cuts out in a tremor of emotion that I clear away. “I only wish she hadn’t had to die for me to see the truth. Thatyouare just like that crumbled building over there. Filled with so much misery. Torturing people for the fun of it… But as menacing as youseem, all it takes is the right storm to reduce you to fuckingrubble.”
“I didn’t,” he gasps, dropping onto his knees in the dirt. “You have to believe me.”
My eyes go round at the sight of him,kneelingat my feet.
And maybe he’s kneeling for the kid, which I still don’t fucking understand. But it doesn’t matter, because the power ismine.
This is what I’ve been waiting over a decade for…
The Ivory, on his knees, begging formyfucking mercy.
It’s so heady it actually makes me dizzy for a moment. I’m suddenly so overwhelmed by what’s happening, I feel like I could pass out.
The weight of this situation is crushing me from the inside out. Cracking my ribs, making it hard to breathe.
Deep in the corners of my heart, there are still traces of his thorns. I hate it,loatheit with everything I have, but it’s a poison that never leaves your body, no matter how much you purge it from your veins with an antidote.
I wantso badlyto believe he wouldn’t have had Tammy killed… But Ican’t.
I can’t trust him. He’s too skilled a liar, and still too good at manipulating me.
The only way to end this for good… is to kill him.
He has to die. It’s the only way we move on from here.
For the last time, I aim my rifle at his forehead. Finger ghosting over the trigger, I sniff, “Any last words?”
He sucks in a breath, letting it out slowly. He closes his eyes.
Then he presses his forehead harder into the barrel, speaking, “I’m sorry, Jonathan. For every terrible thing I ever did to you, to everyone here… I fully deserve to die by any of your hands. But none more than you, and Angelito.” His eyes creep open to meet mine. “I won’t admit to killing Tammy, because I didn’t, not directly…” He pauses to take another shivery breath. “And yet, she is dead because of me.”
My jaw tics, finger tapping the trigger.
“I stopped my men from selling to her. Not right away. In fact, not until after you bothered me about it. I didn’t feel that it would… solve anything. And I know you knew that too, deep down.” He blinks while I simmer. “But I still did it for you. Because I have always, and will always, care deeply for you, Jonathan. I am evil, and selfish, but your mother’s death served no purpose for me, and you know that. Because as you can see… it only drew you further away from me.”
I don’t think my heart is even beating right now. I’m completely frozen in time.
“When I stopped selling to her, she bought from a rival dealer… Mexican cartel outcasts, looking to punish me.Theywere responsible for her death. So I killed them.”
Neither of us are blinking, gazes of blown pupils magnetized.
“I tracked down each and every one of them, and killed them slowly for what they’d done. For… the permanent wedge they’d built between us. That is what comes… Sangre por sangre…” His chin dips, and he shakes his head. “It changed nothing. Tammy will always be gone, and it will always be my fault. So Iamsorry, Jonathan… I’m sorry that my…” He gulps over the word,“feelings for you got her killed. But I did not have her killed intentionally, and I just needed you to know that.”
I’m shaking so hard, I take my finger away from the trigger. Just long enough to breathe and attempt to compose myself.
But I can’t. Everything hurts. I’m achingeverywhere. All I want to do is fall to the ground, but I refuse to let him do that to me.
Never again will I fall apart for him.
Peering at Angel, I find him staring between us, brows sewn together as if he’s also in pain. I’m sure he is… If he feels anywhere near what I’m feeling, I’m sure he’s in the same agony. Brought forth by the man on his knees.
Sniffing again, I blink through the pressure in my skull, aiming a glare laced with traces of my fury down at him.Daringmyself to do it…
